


The Things We Left Behind

by danceswithronin



Series: Orphans [1]
Category: Ghost of Tsushima (Video Game)
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, Angst, Awkward Crush, Because I like hurting my own feelings apparently, Eventual Sex, F/M, Friends to Lovers to Enemies, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not A Fix-It, Orphans timeline, Pre-Canon, Pre-Slash, Rivals, Sake and high class hookers, Teenage Jin, Teenage Ryuzo, Voyeurism, all aboard the pain train
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:35:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26393500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceswithronin/pseuds/danceswithronin
Summary: A collection of one-shots for the 30 Day OTP Challenge with Ryuzo and Jin! Ratings on the chapters will vary so I went ahead and threw an E on this.Just for a heads-up, Jin and Ryuzo start this series at seventeen years old and age up from there as it progresses.
Relationships: Ryuzo/Jin Sakai
Series: Orphans [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1896016
Comments: 64
Kudos: 75





	1. Nose Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> _Time capsule for the future  
>  Trust me, that's what I will be  
> Oh, the things that you do in the name of what you love  
> You are doomed, but just enough  
> You are doomed but just enough._ \- "Church", Fall Out Boy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kd1hIwS2U-Q

“You’ll never beat me, Sakai!”

Jin came at Ryuzo even harder at his taunting words, his feet barely rustling the spring grass as he flew across the dueling ring. The _clack_ of the bokken was resounding in the afternoon air, and there was no one around but the two of them. Ryuzo could tell by the grim look on Jin’s face that he was starting to get angry, truly angry, and Ryuzo knew from many, many previous matches that this was the moment that he could throw Jin off his guard.

Jin circled him like a wolf, sword held at ox guard. Ryuzo held his own sword loosely, watching the young lord look for an opening.

“Be careful, Lord Sakai,” Ryuzo said, a lazy smirk at the corner of his mouth. “I’d hate to give you a mark. The guards might not let me back in this place.” He said it as a joke, but he couldn’t help but keep a bitter note of his voice.

Jin lowered his sword slightly, his face relaxing. He gave Ryuzo that soft, searching look that simultaneously made Ryuzo’s blood hot and infuriated him. “They wouldn’t bar you from here. I wouldn’t allow it.” He scowled again. “And _don’t_ call me that. You know I hate it.”

“Wouldn’t allow it?” Ryuzo barked a laugh and threw himself at Jin again, getting in a thump against his shoulder before darting away again, Jin’s bokken whistling past his ear. “You act as if you’re lord of this place already.”

“My _uncle_ wouldn’t allow it.”

“Your uncle barely lets me come here as it is.” Ryuzo aimed another strike at Jin’s head but Jin brought his bokken up expertly to meet it before whipping it down to hit Ryuzo against the ribs, lightly. It still hurt, but Ryuzo dodged away, scowling back at Jin. Jin could have hit harder, but he didn’t. _He’s always holding back,_ Ryuzo thought, feeling a low resentment simmering deep inside his heart at the thought. _He thinks I’m not as good as he is. He always has._

“You hit like a woman,” he said.

“Get hit by many women?” Jin replied, returning to his guard stance. “I believe it.”

Ryuzo ran at him, not replying but moving silently, his eyes dark and furious. He saw Jin’s eyes widen slightly as he braced himself but Ryuzo threw his bokken down, tackling Jin and throwing him to the ground.

_“Ryuzo!”_

The two of them rolled around on the ground. Jin writhed under Ryuzo’s weight, trying to throw him off, but Ryuzo was stronger and heavier. Jin managed to wriggle out of his grasp a few times, scrambling for purchase to get away and retaliate, but Ryuzo eventually pinned Jin to the grass, hands clasped tightly on his wrists, pinning them to the dirt. His hips straddled Jin’s, holding him down.

“You lose.”

“You didn’t fight fair,” Jin muttered beneath him.

“The real winners never do.” Ryuzo leaned down into his face.

“Get off me,” Jin grumbled. “Someone might see.”

“What are you worried about them seeing?” Ryuzo said, his voice soft. His eyes were very close. _Maybe I don’t care what they see. Ever think about that, Jin?_

Jin looked back up at him, his brow furrowed and his top knot half-done from wrestling in the grass, but Ryuzo thought he saw a flash of something other than anger when Jin stared back up at him.

“What do you _think?”_ Jin’s voice was affronted, but Ryuzo saw his face and the tips of his ears reddening. It made Ryuzo want to lick one, but then he was sure if he gave into temptation Jin really would try to kill him for a change.

“What do _you_ think?” Ryuzo settled his weight against Jin, laying on top of him, but his grip on the other teenager’s wrists loosened. He felt Jin shiver as he rubbed the inside of one wrist with a callused thumb and it made a hot bolt of arousal shoot through him, just from the sensation of the young lord underneath him. Not fighting.

“I think you care a lot less about your reputation than I have to,” Jin said, but there was no malice in it.

“Sorry I don’t have anyone to give a shit about me or my reputation like you do,” Ryuzo replied, and this time it was impossible for him to keep the cynicism out of his voice. 

“I give a shit.”

“As long as no one sees, right?”

“I’m sorry,” Jin said, his voice soft and sincere. “I didn’t mean it like that. You know I didn’t.”

Ryuzo felt his stiffened, angry pride soften a little. He couldn’t help it whenever Jin sounded like that. He relaxed, letting his forehead drop against Jin’s until their noses were touching, close enough to kiss. After a moment, he drew back and let go of Jin’s wrists, seeing the markings his fingers left there, and instead of making him feel guilty it drove that hot spike of lust through his gut again.

Ryuzo sighed, folding his arms over Jin’s chest, shifting down to rest his chin on them. Then he flinched as he felt Jin’s hand come up to brush the hair back from his face.

“Why do we fight all the time, Ryuzo?” Jin was staring up into the sky, through the canopy of the tree that rippled in the wind above them. “I don’t want things to be so hard between us. You’re my only friend.”

“Am I?”

“You know you are.”

“Maybe that isn’t enough for me.”

Jin sat up on his elbows and looked into Ryuzo’s face silently, until Ryuzo felt his own face burn with hot humiliated blood and he moved to stand abruptly, reaching down to grab his bokken. He sheathed it at his side without looking back at Jin, eyes averted. 

“Ryuzo, wait.” Jin started to stand up and come after him.

“I have to go. You win, Lord Sakai,” Ryuzo said, turning his back on Jin and running away as if the gods themselves were chasing him.

He fled the courtyard with the sound of his own name ringing in his ears. 


	2. Reunion Hug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuzo avoids Jin until he can't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _We might kiss when we are alone  
>  Nobody's watching  
> We might take it home  
> We might make out when nobody's there  
> It's not that we're scared  
> It's just that it's delicate._ \- Damien Rice, "Delicate" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnL3NfhOsBM

“I haven’t seen Ryuzo lately,” Lord Shimura said to Jin with an overly casual air, bringing his cup of tea to his lips. Jin sat across from him at the low table, his own tea sitting untouched in front of him. Outside, a hard, sudden spring rain battered the courtyard stones, and thunder rumbled distantly. 

_Maybe that isn’t enough for me._ Ryuzo’s quiet words echoed in Jin’s mind, endlessly. He kept replaying the fight in his head, trying to figure it out. All he could focus on was the heavy heat of Ryuzo lying on top of him, the look in his eyes after he spoke when Jin had simply looked at him, aghast.

Lying there, he had felt the hard line of Ryuzo’s arousal pressed against his hip. He remembered the way that Ryuzo’s thumb had brushed gently against the tender skin of his wrist, the way you’d stroke a cat up its forehead. Gentle. Just remembering it brought hot blood up in his face.

_You win, Lord Sakai._

“We quarreled,” Jin replied, though he wasn’t sure quarreling was exactly what he should call it. He stared at the steam wafting up from his cup, looking down into its green depths.

“That’s unfortunate,” Lord Shimura said, setting down his cup and looking at Jin carefully across the table. “He has a rough nature. He’s probably not the best person for you to be associating with anyway. You should spend more time with Lady Masako’s sons. They’re your age.”

 _Shigesato and Yasunari think I’m a coward._ Of course, they had never told him so. They were not cruel. But Jin could feel the way they held themselves apart, the way they looked at him. He knew that in their hearts they thought in his place, they would have saved their father’s life. _They_ were true samurai—they would have been brave enough.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It seems to,” Lord Shimura pressed, his eyebrows raising slightly. He leaned a little over the table. “Tell me what troubles you.”

Jin met his uncle’s eyes reluctantly, crossing his arms over his chest as if he could guard the heart inside it. “The older we get… the more I feel like Ryuzo is angry at me all the time. Over _nothing,”_ he added. He didn’t mention the fight, or what had happened afterwards. What changed.

Lord Shimura sighed. “Jin… you know that it isn’t nothing. You and Ryuzo do not walk the same path. He feels this more keenly than you do. It shames him.”

“I don’t think less of Ryuzo for being poor.” Jin scowled. “I would give him whatever he wants.”

“It doesn’t matter what you think,” Lord Shimura said. “It matters what he thinks of himself. He doesn’t want what you have to give freely. He thinks you pity him.”

“I don’t see why it has to keep us from being friends with each other,” Jin said, turning his head away to look at the rain through the open shoji door.

Lord Shimura shook his head. “That’s because you are still a boy. When you’re a man, you’ll understand better. But don’t fret, Jin. Ryuzo is hot-blooded, but his blood will cool. He’ll be skulking around here again before you know it.”

Jin stood up. “I’m going to go for a walk.”

“It’s pouring out there,” Lord Shimura said. “You’ll be soaked through.”

“I’ll dry. I need to think.” Before Lord Shimura could protest further, Jin slipped out the open door and into the rain.

**

Jin searched the village for hours, wiping rain out of his face. The only place he didn’t go was the brothel, not just because he didn’t think Ryuzo would be there but also because he didn’t want to see him there if he was. The thought of him ignoring Jin for days to go carouse and drink alone—or worse, with some of the other young peasant men—made Jin feel a hot lump rise in his throat, as if a door had closed between them already.

Instead he searched anywhere in the village he thought Ryuzo might go. He checked dooryards and alleys. He peered up onto the roofs of the village huts, as Ryuzo was not above watching the village like a crow from his perch.

But Ryuzo was nowhere to be found.

Finally, despondent, he walked out of the village, heading along the bank of the river. The rain had slacked off a little, but still fell steadily.

His breath caught in his throat. _Ryuzo._

Ryuzo was sitting on the riverbank in the rain, a fishing rod cast out in front of him, a maple tree shading him from overhead. His face was set in a grim expression of determination as he watched the raindrops bouncing off the top of the water. He was so engrossed in what he was doing that he didn’t hear Jin approach.

“Ryuzo.”

Ryuzo jumped two feet at the sound of Jin’s voice, turning to look at him with an expression that Jin could only identify as abject horror before sliding into a guarded neutral expression as he set the fishing rod down, standing to meet Jin.

“Jin.” Ryuzo’s reply was soft, almost too quiet for Jin to hear in the patter of the rain.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” Jin blurted out, and it came out angrier than he meant it to. Ryuzo flinched back from him.

“I had things to do.” Ryuzo’s voice was flat.

“Liar.” Jin glared at him.

Ryuzo glared back at him, then sneered, throwing his hands up as he turned away, starting to walk. “What do you even _care?_ What are you even doing out here? Go back to your castle.”

_“Don’t walk away from me.”_

The command in Jin’s tone stopped Ryuzo in his tracks, and he turned around to look at Jin. “As you wish, Lord Sakai.”

“Don’t,” Jin said, walking up closer to him but slowly, as if Ryuzo was a wild animal that might bolt away from him. “Don’t turn this around on me.” He came closer until he was standing directly in front of Ryuzo, looking up into his face with a resolved expression. “Why have you been avoiding me? _Please._ I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. Whatever it is… I’m _sorry.”_

Before he knew he was going to do it, Jin surged forward and threw his arms around Ryuzo, his head over Ryuzo’s shoulder. He squeezed tight, not giving the other a chance to slip away from him. Ryuzo smelled like river mud and campfire smoke. He could feel Ryuzo’s heart pounding against his own.

Ryuzo tensed up, and Jin thought for a moment that he would throw Jin off him. Instead he felt Ryuzo slump slightly against him, as if the wires holding him up had been cut.

“Gods damn it, Jin. You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Ryuzo said, hoarse. 

“Then why do you hate me so much?” Jin whispered.

Ryuzo brought his arms up around Jin, embracing him back. He buried his face into the side of Jin’s neck.

“I don’t hate you,” Ryuzo whispered back, his lips brushing skin. Jin felt the vibration of Ryuzo’s words against his throat.

“Then why do you act like it?”

Ryuzo leaned back and Jin saw with shock that there were tears on his face. Before he had a chance to even process that information, Ryuzo was leaning into him. Kissing him. Jin thought of the feel of Ryuzo’s thumb, its gentle soothing scuffing motion across the veins of his inner wrist where his heart’s blood flowed, and then he was kissing Ryuzo back.

Ryuzo’s words echoed in his mind again.

 _Maybe it’s not enough for me either,_ Jin thought, and tangled his hands in Ryuzo’s hair. 


	3. Spooning for Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuzo and Jin find home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I let it fall, my heart  
>  And as it fell, you rose to claim it  
> It was dark and I was over  
> Until you kissed my lips and you saved me_
> 
> _But there's a side to you  
>  That I never knew, never knew  
> All the things you'd say  
> They were never true, never true  
> And the games you play  
> You would always win, always win_ \- "Set Fire to the Rain", Adele https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj3nFNIV2jY

Somehow, they ended up sitting against the base of the tree with Ryuzo’s arm thrown around Jin’s shoulders, their heads touching as they watched rain bounce off the surface of the river. When they broke their kiss, neither of them spoke. For a little while, there was nothing to say. Jin was curled against Ryuzo’s shoulder, his legs tucked up underneath him. Ryuzo’s were stretched out before him, ankles crossed.

The quiet was like a heavy animal lying asleep between them, with both afraid to disturb it. Ryuzo was almost asleep, his eyes closed, when Jin broke the silence. His voice seemed fragile and small, almost drowned out by the rain, which was growing heavy again.

“What are we doing, Ryuzo?”

“Mm? Fishin’,” Ryuzo muttered, sighing deeply without opening his eyes.

“You know what I mean.”

Ryuzo opened his eyes and looked out over the river. He didn’t move his arm from around Jin’s shoulders. _Why do you keep making this so hard?_

“Why do you keep asking me?”

“Because you kissed me.”

Ryuzo sucked in a breath. Jin was so direct sometimes, so earnest, it felt like Jin was trying to stab him even when he didn’t have a sword. “I felt like it.” He pulled his arm away and stood abruptly, forcing Jin to sit up. Ryuzo walked back over to the bank where he’d left his fishing rod and started making an exaggerated show of reeling it in and stowing it carefully. His face felt hot.

“Why?”

Ryuzo shook his head and whirled on Jin with the fishing rod in his hands, his expression guarded again. “Why not? Why? Because you drive me _crazy._ Just like you’re doing now.” He walked back over to where Jin was sitting and held a hand down to him. Jin took it and allowed Ryuzo to pull him to his feet.

When they were both standing, Ryuzo looked into Jin’s eyes and said, “Go home, Jin. You’ll catch your death out here and they’ll pike my head.” He tried to let go of Jin’s hand but Jin held it tightly, refusing to let go.

“Not until you answer me like I’m not an idiot,” Jin said. “I’m tired of that.”

Ryuzo leaned in close, staring into Jin’s dark questioning eyes, his voice getting heated. “Because I don’t know. That’s why. Is that what you want to hear? Now let me go.” He tried to pull his hand away again, but Jin held it fast. He was smaller, but strong if he wasn’t ambushed first. He made a point to remind Ryuzo of it from time to time, and Ryuzo realized he was doing it again now.

“Come back to the castle with me,” Jin said. “It’s getting dark. It’s cold out here. You’re soaked.”

“I’m fine. I need to go home. My parents will be wondering where I’m at.”

“We’re having _takoyaki.”_ Ryuzo swallowed as he felt Jin squeeze his hand, fingertips clenching into the inside of Ryuzo’s palm. “Don’t you want a hot bath? Get out of the rain?” Jin asked. “I know I want to. I only came out here to find you.” 

“You and your octopus,” Ryuzo said, but he felt his resolve weakening. He had been out on the river for hours and caught nothing. The one time he got a bite, he lost his bait. He felt a faint headache from hunger. And he was tired. And his heart hurt.

“Please.” Jin’s words from earlier came back to haunt Ryuzo at the pleading request. _Please. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. Whatever it is… I’m sorry._

“Fine. Let’s go then. We’ll stop by my house on the way and let my parents know.”

Ryuzo felt Jin relax before releasing his hand, just looking at him. “Thank you.”

Ryuzo didn’t answer, just started walking back towards the castle with his pole slung over his shoulder. Jin kept in step beside him and they let heavy quiet lay again.

**

Lord Shimura greeted them at the foyer of the castle himself. Both Jin and Ryuzo prostrated themselves on the tatami mat before him after leaving their sandals by the threshold to go barefoot.

“My lord Shimura,” Ryuzo said, subdued.

“Uncle,” Jin said. “May Ryuzo stay the night?”

“Of course,” Lord Shimura replied, without hesitation. He looked between the two young men with a solemn, curious expression. “Now both of you get up and go get stripped out of those wet clothes before you soak my mats.”

They got up and went to Jin’s quarters, both skinning out of their wet clothing one article at a time, the damp cloth cleaving to their skin.

“Your uncle was quick to invite me,” Ryuzo said, shivering despite himself once he was out of the wet clothes. He pulled on a borrowed fundoshi, hakama, and yukata from Jin, tying them as Jin shucked out of his own clothing. He made a point to look any other place in the room while Jin did it.

“He missed you,” Jin replied, bending to pull up his hakama around his waist. “He asked about you.”

“Ha,” Ryuzo said, a single bitter syllable.

“I’m serious.” When Ryuzo didn’t answer, Jin turned back around to look at him, bare-chested in his hakama.

“You’re always serious.”

“ _I_ missed you.” Ryuzo could almost feel Jin warring with the desire to come forward and touch him, but Jin held himself back. Watching Ryuzo’s face.

Ryuzo blushed and said nothing. He still didn’t know how to respond to something like that. _I should never have told him. I should never have said what I said._

“I’m sorry,” Ryuzo said after a moment, when the silence spun out and Jin had turned away from him to grab his own yukata and tie it. When Jin didn’t answer, Ryuzo swallowed hard and let a breath out in a shaky exhale, stepping forward and hugging Jin from behind. “I mean it,” Ryuzo whispered.

He felt Jin relax in his arms for a moment, then pull away slightly. Ryuzo let him. Jin turned back around to look at him, his face unreadable.

“Let’s go,” he said.

**

They sat down with Lord Shimura over grilled octopus, rice, and pickled cabbage. A cold front had swept in with the spring storms and they ate their meal cross-legged on the floor, huddled around the irori hearth. All three men tucked into their food with enthusiasm. With the warmth and delicious fare, the tension between Ryuzo and Jin seemed to soften.

“How are your parents, Ryuzo?” Lord Shimura asked.

“They’re well, my lord. My father is getting ready for the daikon harvest.”

“Let Jin know when they are ready, and he’ll help you,” Lord Shimura said, passing a piece of octopus to his mouth with his chopsticks. “Many hands make light work, and it’s good for a samurai to learn to work with their hands as well as a sword. It instills discipline.” 

“Of course. We’d be happy to have the help, thank you my lord,” Ryuzo said, cutting his gaze at Jin across the irori. “As long as Jin doesn’t mind.”

“No, I’ll help,” Jin said. “I’m happy to.”

“Good,” Lord Shimura said. “No man who carries a sword is too good to carry a spade.” He smiled at Ryuzo.

They talked about the weather, the crops, the fishing, the upcoming _hanami_ festival. Ryuzo kept up the conversation easily enough, and Jin contributed to it even if he was a little quieter than usual, but every once in awhile he caught Jin watching him with dark eyes.

**

They bid Lord Shimura goodnight and retired to Jin’s chambers after taking their turns in the furo bath, Jin letting Ryuzo go first. Ryuzo took a clean cloth and the warm washbowl of water and wiped down his body completely first before lowering himself into the wooden tub of steaming hot water, letting out a soft groan of pleasure as he leaned back against the edge of the tub.

As he sat there, letting the hot water warm his bones and seep through his body, Ryuzo considered what his night would have been like if Jin hadn’t found him. He would have gone home to eat a bowl of his mother’s rice pottage—no cooked fish to go with it, since Ryuzo hadn’t caught any. He felt a strong pang of guilt at that, that his parents would have nothing but vegetables and rice for their supper while he ate octopus and miso and soy sauce and other foods fit for a prince.

When he got dressed again and exited the bathing area, drying his hair, he came back into Jin’s bedroom and found Jin laying out futons side by side, buckwheat pillows, a light blanket covering the beds and a large soft feather comforter wide enough to cover both on top of the tatami mats. Jin saw that he had come out and turned to stand. The andon lamps were burning in the bedroom already, throwing it into a soft warm golden glow.

“Made sure the water is still hot,” Ryuzo said, feeling suddenly shy.

“Thanks,” Jin said.

Jin went into the bath and Ryuzo went to sit on one of the futons, listening to the soft sounds of trickling water on the opposite side of the shoji screen as Jin undressed, passed clean water over his body, and got into the tub. Ryuzo imagined Jin undressing behind the screen, silvery gray yukata and dark gray hakama on the floor in a neatly folded pile, the pale lines of naked muscle and skin. He shivered against the chill and other things, taking the blanket and crawling under it, wrapping himself in it.

The room was quiet other than the soft sounds of Jin getting into the tub, and the silence fell over both rooms except for the patter of the rain. It seemed like a long time to Ryuzo before the sliding screen of the shoji door moved and Jin stepped back into the room dressed for bed. His long, loose hair fell down around his face. He blew out all the lamps as he came into the room except for one, throwing them both into shadows.

“Come here,” Ryuzo said, pulling open the comforter to one side of him.

Jin came over and kneeled, sliding down into the blankets beside Ryuzo, letting out a soft sigh as he sank into the warmth that Ryuzo had already generated beneath the down. As soon as he did, Ryuzo’s arms came around him in the dark, hugging fiercely. Jin stiffened in his arms for a moment and then melted, his forehead against Ryuzo’s chest. Ryuzo spoke into Jin’s damp hair.

“I missed you too,” Ryuzo whispered. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have run. I was afraid.”

“Afraid? Of me?” Jin asked back, his voice slightly muffled against the cloth at Ryuzo’s chest, surprised into speaking.

“I didn’t want you to hate me,” Ryuzo said. His hand found Jin’s under the blankets and Jin took it, lacing their fingers together. Ryuzo didn’t stop him. He closed his eyes.

“I could _never_ hate you, Ryuzo,” Jin whispered, and in the dark Ryuzo shivered and his eyes slid closed as he felt Jin’s lips trail gently along the edge of his jaw, making his breath catch before Jin shifted up, meeting his lips instead in a chaste kiss before turning his back on Ryuzo, holding his hand and drawing Ryuzo’s arm over his waist.

Under the comforter, Ryuzo slid over to slot his body behind Jin’s in the blankets, tucking himself along Jin’s backside until there was one long continuous line of warmth between them. Jin clasped Ryuzo’s hand up to his chest, leaning back into him.

Both of them were silent, listening to the sound of the rain outside. After a few minutes, Ryuzo heard Jin’s breathing deepen into a soft, deep, steady rhythm.

Ryuzo gently pulled his fingers out of Jin’s and slid his hand inside the collar of Jin’s yukata as he pulled himself closer, laying it flat on the skin of Jin’s chest over the left side, feeling his steady heart.

He let himself fall asleep listening to the sound of Jin’s heart through his palm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hanami festival - cherry blossom viewing festival


	4. Walking Hand in Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuzo gets a reality check.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I don't mind where you come from  
>  As long as you come to me  
> I don't like illusions  
> I can't see them clearly_
> 
> _I don't care, no, I wouldn't dare  
>  To fix the twist in you  
> You've shown me eventually  
> What you'll do_
> 
> _I don't mind  
>  I don't care  
> As long as you're here._ \- Sick Puppies, "All the Same" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdFOemP1dR0

“Ryuzo, come here.”

Ryuzo looked up from where he was cleaning fish for dinner and looked at his mother, who raised her eyebrows and tilted her head in the direction his father’s voice came from, out back in the field. His little sister was playing in the floor and he flicked water at her after washing his hands clean, making her laugh. He grabbed a gourd of water, filling it from the well bucket, and went out back.

He followed the sound of his father’s voice outside. Ryuzo’s father, Benjiro, was waiting for him in the shade of a tree, his hoe lying across his knees as he sat. He kneeled in front of his father and gave him the gourd.

“You look thirsty.”

“Thank you, my son.” Benjiro took the gourd with earth-stained hands and drank deeply, sweat beading and running off his brow where he had been hard at work. He passed the gourd back to Ryuzo and Ryuzo drank from it himself before sitting down cross-legged in front of his father’ under the tree’s shade.

“You wanted to see me, Father?”

“Yes,” Benjiro said, his voice taking on a serious tone. He looked into Ryuzo’s face. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

The tone in his voice made Ryuzo nervous, and he wasn’t sure why.

“Of course.”

Benjiro looked out onto the fields, as if he wasn’t sure how to meet his son’s gaze for the next part of what he had to say.

“I heard something about you in the village today. I wanted to ask you about it.”

_Fuck._

“Yes?”

Benjiro turned back to look at Ryuzo. “Someone told me that they saw you and Jin Sakai walking hand in hand on the river path.”

Ryuzo’s breath caught in his chest and he felt hot blood rush into his face, but he managed to not avert his gaze from his father’s. Jin’s words came back to him, unbidden: _Someone might see._

But Jin was the one who had reached out for his hand as they walked back to the village from the river, grasping it, and Ryuzo had not had the heart to tell him to let go, not until they got close enough that other people were around.

So he didn’t.

“Who told you that?” Ryuzo asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” Benjiro replied. “Is it the truth?”

“It’s nobody’s business,” Ryuzo said, his voice hot.

Benjiro sighed. “Ryuzo… I like Jin. You know that. I always have. And I think it’s good that you’re friends with the jito’s nephew. It puts you in a position where you might be able to move up in the world, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. But you need to be careful.”

Ryuzo’s face burned and he turned to look at the fields. “It’s nobody’s business.”

“Ryuzo, you aren’t a boy anymore,” Benjiro said, his voice going slightly hard. “You’ve always been stubborn, and I have always indulged it, because I think your resolve is admirable. But you are almost to the age where you will need to make a marriage match, and we can’t afford to have rumors flying around the village. Whatever is going on between you and Lord Sakai needs to stop.”

“There’s nothing going on,” Ryuzo said. “He’s my friend. That’s all.”

Benjiro just looked at him, and Ryuzo stared back.

“I don’t believe you,” Benjiro said. “You aren’t a very good liar, Ryuzo. And even if you were… I’m your father. I’ve known you since you were at your mother’s breast. Do you not think I know my own son?” he added, more gently. This last caused a hot lump to rise in Ryuzo’s throat. He kept silent.

When Ryuzo didn’t answer him, Benjiro continued. “We cannot afford the jito’s wrath over this,” Benjiro said, keeping his voice quiet. “Do you think Lord Shimura will ever take you into his service if he thinks there is something going on between you and Lord Sakai? No. He will pass you over, because he won’t make a marriage for Lord Sakai more difficult than it has to be.”

The thought of Jin getting married caused a wave of jealousy to crash over Ryuzo so hard he felt sick.

“Lord Shimura will not take me into his service regardless. He thinks I’m just—” _A flea-bitten peasant,_ he wanted to say, but then looked into his father’s weather-worn, tanned face and didn’t. 

“You don’t know that, and he doesn’t,” Benjiro said. “He respects you, Ryuzo. He wants to help you, and he has helped this family many times.” Benjiro reached out and touched Ryuzo’s shoulder, his hand squeezing, trying to soothe. “Please do not let emotions cloud your judgment. Or break your chances.”

Ryuzo bowed his head, one hand clasping the other tightly in his lap, hard enough for the knuckles to go white.

“I’m just telling you to be careful,” Benjiro said. “It’s a small village. People talk. And they especially like to talk about Jin Sakai. I don’t want to hear any more talk like that when I stop at the tea house. I don’t want to hear men laugh at you. Or Jin.”

“Are you ashamed of me?” Ryuzo whispered.

Benjiro shook his head. “I am proud of you, Ryuzo. You are brave, smart, and loyal. I have never been anything but proud of you. You are my only son. That’s why I don’t want to see you get hurt. I’m not going to be around forever. I want you to be happy, but I also want you to be safe. Do you understand why I wanted to talk to you?”

“Yes.” Ryuzo blinked hard.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I can’t just abandon him.”

“And I’m not asking you to,” Benjiro said. “Only to be more discreet. _Much_ more discreet. And to think of your own marriage. You and Jin are not young anymore. It’s time to grow up and be a man.”

“And if I don’t want to get married?” Ryuzo asked.

Benjiro shook his head. “You must. You _must_ have a wife to run your household, Ryuzo. You must have a wife to bear your children. How will you continue our family name without one? No, it’s not a choice. Most of all, you must have a wife to drive off this idle talk about you and Sakai, before Lord Shimura catches wind of it. You are almost _tekireiki_. So is Jin. You still have time, but you need to start thinking ahead. Think of your future.”

Ryuzo was silent.

“I am not trying to shame you,” Benjiro said. “I am trying to speak to you as one man to another. Of serious things.”

“I know,” Ryuzo whispered, feeling his eyes burn. “May I go?”

Benjiro searched his face and then sighed. “Yes. Go.”

Ryuzo stood, bowed, and fled.  
  


**

  
When Ryuzo found Jin, he was sitting meditation in the gardens of the courtyard at Castle Shimura, as still as a Buddha statue. The retainers knew him and let him past the gates.

Ryuzo stood there for a moment, watching the still lines of Jin’s back, almost afraid to speak his name. But Jin had heard him walk up, the rustling of the grass at his feet, and he turned his head over his shoulder. The way his face brightened when he saw Ryuzo made Ryuzo’s heart hurt.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I didn’t mean to disturb you. Are you finished?”

Jin nodded, stretching his legs out of the lotus position, grimacing at the pins and needles. “My legs are asleep,” he laughed. “Help me up.”

Ryuzo walked over to him and gave him a hand, pulling him to his feet. But this time, it was him who refused to let go. He held Jin’s hand tightly, looking down at where their hands met.

“Ryuzo?”

Ryuzo looked up at Jin to see Jin watching him, his face a silent question. He started walking away, Jin’s hand still clasped in his own. “C’mon.”

“Where are we going?”

_It doesn’t matter._

Ryuzo half-dragged Jin across the courtyard, and Jin, surprised and his legs still stiff, scrambled to catch up. As soon as he did, Ryuzo broke into a run, still not releasing Jin’s hand.

 _Fuck them. Let them see. I don’t care._ Ryuzo found that he was seething as he ran through the courtyard of the castle with Jin trying to keep up with his longer stride, running alongside and slightly behind him. They passed guards at the gate who looked at them curiously, and Ryuzo pretended they weren’t there.

“Ryuzo, wait.” Jin dug his heels in, stopping once they were through the gates and Ryuzo had started to lead him around the outer wall of the castle, towards the forest. Ryuzo stopped to look back at him, his face serious.

“What’s wrong?” Jin whispered, his eyes searching Ryuzo’s face.

“Nothing,” Ryuzo said, though the tone in Jin’s voice made him want to cry. “Come on.” He dropped Jin’s hand and took off running towards the woods. Jin, who was both lighter and quicker, kept up easily.

 _“Where are we going!?”_ Jin shouted.

Ryuzo didn’t answer, only ran harder like a deer being pursued by hunters, to the point that he heard even Jin struggling to keep up.

He ran until they were deep within the shade of the forest trees, surrounded by mossy stones and smooth, soft new grass. Ryuzo threw himself to the ground and laid on his back in the grass, his heart hammering in his chest and his breath whooping in his ears. Jin flopped down beside him, exhausted.

They were silent for a moment.

“Now will you tell me what’s wrong?” Jin asked again from a halo of bent grass, his voice breathless. He swiped his hair back from his face where it had come loose from its top knot as they ran, falling down to frame his face.

“I don’t want you to marry,” Ryuzo spat, his voice furious. 

Jin turned his head on the ground, looking at Ryuzo with his brow furrowed with silent confusion at the unconcealed rage in Ryuzo’s voice. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet. “Why are you worried about that now?”

_Because I won’t be able to bear it._

Instead of saying so, Ryuzo sat up and leaned over Jin where he was lying in the grass. A tuft of grass was caught in Ryuzo’s hair and Jin reached up to pull it out, letting it fall to the ground. Ryuzo leaned down and met Jin’s lips, gently. Jin was the one who opened his mouth and let his tongue shyly touch Ryuzo’s as he reached up and slid his hand over the nape of Ryuzo’s neck, making him shudder. The cool spring wind was rustling through the trees above them, sounding like ocean waves.

When they broke for breath, Jin whispered against Ryuzo’s lips. “I’m not going anywhere.” His voice was soft but confident. “Don’t leave me. And I won’t leave you. That’s the deal. Okay, Ryuzo?”

“Swear it,” Ryuzo said, looking down into his face. “My sword is already sworn to you. So you swear to me.”

“I swear on my father’s sword, I will never abandon you,” Jin said, without hesitation. His voice was perfectly serious as he gazed up into Ryuzo’s eyes. “Not for a marriage. Not for anything. So you don’t have to worry.” He reached up to cup Ryuzo’s face. “I swear it.”

Ryuzo leaned down and kissed Jin again, then laid back down in the grass next to him. He reached over and took Jin’s hand, feeling the warm weight of it, the calluses there from hours of sword practice. He squeezed it tight and felt Jin squeeze his in return, lacing their fingers together as if he had done it a hundred times before. As if he planned to do it a hundred times more, village gossip be damned. 

_Fuck them,_ Ryuzo thought again, and closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tekireiki - marriageable/matchmaking age


	5. Late Night Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The real ghost of Tsushima.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I'm so tired of being here  
>  Suppressed by all my childish fears  
> And if you have to leave  
> I wish that you would just leave  
> 'Cause your presence still lingers here  
> And it won't leave me alone_
> 
> _These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real_  
>  _There's just too much that time cannot erase._ \- Evanescence, "My Immortal"

The dream happened the same way, every time.

First Jin heard the screaming. He had never heard anyone scream like that before, and it made his overly full bladder throb, making him wish absurdly that he had relieved himself earlier, a hysterical thought. There were sounds of combat from the village square, men shouting and cursing, the ringing of steel hitting steel.

As in life, Jin felt frozen to the spot like a tree being whipped by a hurricane, but not so hard as to pull it up from its roots. He turned towards the open shoji screen of the shop in time to see a ragged man in leather armor come up behind his father with a dagger and drive it into his back, into a soft point between where the plates of the _do_ met, where only silk cords lay.

Even from thirty feet away, Jin heard his father’s surprised gasping grunt. It reminded him of the sounds of his mother and father making love, sounds Jin heard sometimes if he laid awake late into the night, after his parents thought he had fallen asleep.

 _No!_ he wanted to scream, but his voice was caught in his throat like an animal in a trap. He shrieked at himself to move, but he couldn’t. Other men in dark leather swarmed the village square, cutting down his father’s retainers. He saw Banko, his father’s second, lying still on the flagstones with an arrow shaft protruding from his lower back, a rill of dark red blood running along the grout between the flat rocks.

He wanted to run out to his father, who had put down the man who stabbed him with a killing swipe of Storm. But he dropped the sword, and now dragged himself across the stones towards the shop where Jin was, like a dog struck and smashed by a passing wagon.

His father looked up and caught his eye, dark eyes wild and uncomprehending. His voice was full of blood.

“Jin… _help me.”_

 _I can’t. Please I can’t._ Jin looked from his father to Storm, where it was forgotten on the stones behind him. He could almost see himself running for the sword, tensed his muscles for dashing, when he saw one of the other bandits approaching at his father’s back. He walked over the sword and advanced on Kazumasa.

He raised his own sword over Kazumasa’s retreating back.

**

_“Fath—!”_

Jin awoke to Ryuzo half-lying over him, pressing a hand over his mouth as his eyes darted to the shoji screen of Jin’s room. His other hand was pressed at the base of Jin’s throat, thumb brushing over the skin there. Jin could feel his own heart yammering beneath the press of Ryuzo’s fingers.

“Quiet, Jin. It was only a dream,” Ryuzo hissed. “You’ll bring the guards.” When he was sure that Jin wouldn’t cry out again, he pulled his hand away from Jin’s mouth, leaning back. He left his other hand at Jin’s throat, running fingertips along his collarbone. He caressed Jin like he might caress a horse spooked at its own shadow.

Jin was silent, and Ryuzo was startled and dismayed to see tears in the corner of Jin’s eyes, pooling before sliding down the planes of his face to gather in his ears. Feeling his heart clench with some unnamed feeling, Ryuzo leaned back over him and gently kissed the tears away before moving his lips to Jin’s forehead, pressing a reverent kiss there.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he whispered, moving his hand from Jin’s throat to take Jin’s hand under the blankets, squeezing it tight. “It’s not real. Whatever you saw, it’s not real. You’re here with me now, we’re in Castle Shimura, we’re safe.”

“It happened,” Jin said, his voice choked. “Kazumasa is dead. And it’s my fault.”

Ryuzo looked down into his face in the shadows, brushing away fresh tears as he stroked the line of Jin’s jaw. “Is that what you think? Come here.” Ryuzo sat up, leaning against the wall, and pulled Jin over to lay across his lap. Jin was stiff and unreceptive at first, but then melted under Ryuzo’s insistent tugging, collapsing across the other teenager’s crossed legs.

“Many people wanted Kazumasa dead, Jin,” Ryuzo said, his voice carefully soft so it wouldn’t travel beyond the room. “And not just bandits, either. You couldn’t have saved him.”

“I was _right there,_ Ryuzo.”

“You were just a kid. Just some ten-year-old kid without even a bokken. What were you supposed to do? Die with him?”

“I could have helped him. He begged me.”

Ryuzo felt a sudden flush of rage at Kazumasa. _Happy to ignore him until you need him. Happy to let him trail you around like a dog, begging for your attention._ It didn’t feel fair, to be angry at a dead man who couldn’t defend himself, but Ryuzo couldn’t help it. _Damn you, Kazumasa. Damn you and Tokiasa both._

“You could have been murdered,” Ryuzo insisted. “And then those dogs would have had exactly what they wanted. Clan Sakai would be destroyed.”

“I hid. I’m a coward.”

Ryuzo swallowed and leaned close, whispering into Jin’s ear as he brushed back the soft, black hair that was sticking to the tears on his cheeks. “Don’t ever say that in front of me again. You’re the least cowardly person I know. You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.” _And the most beautiful,_ he thought, but was too embarrassed to say.

“Remember what you said to those guys who jumped me and were holding me down and shoving my face in the mud?”

Ryuzo remembered. The sound of their taunting laughter, the feeling of someone standing on his back as another hand pressed on the back of his skull. There was a moment when his nose was plugged with dirt and his face was shoved against the earth where he thought he might actually suffocate, until he heard Jin’s strident voice challenging his attackers.

_Leave him alone! Let him up or I’ll kill you._

“That I would kill them,” Jin said. “And then they beat me. They beat me so bad Yuriko threatened to do it again if I didn’t tell her who was responsible.” Jin laughed, the sound of it still husky from his earlier tears.

“But you took on _four guys_ , Jin. The sons of samurai. Without a weapon. You’re no coward.” Ryuzo stroked Jin’s head, watching his dark eyes gleaming in the dim light of the room. “You probably saved my life.”

“They wouldn’t have killed you.” But Jin’s voice took on a note of uncertainty even as he said it.

“I think they didn’t mean to, not really,” Ryuzo said, his voice quiet. “But they might have.”

Jin sniffled, sitting up and leaning against Ryuzo’s chest. Ryuzo put an arm around him and held his hand. If they were out in public, he might have been embarrassed by such an overt display of affection. In the darkness of the castle, in the middle of the night, none of that mattered. This was their place, at least until dawn.

Ryuzo pulled the blankets more snugly around them both, cocooning them against the world. He touched the scar at Jin’s cheek, his fingers trailing against it softly. “You fought for me.”

“I wouldn’t stand by and watch them hurt you.”

“And that’s why you’re not a coward,” Ryuzo replied. “If you were a coward, you never would have been friends with me to begin with. You would have held your nose like the others and said I stank of dirt and fish. You would have thrown clods of mud at my back like them. I don’t know why you’re friends with me sometimes,” he added, softer. “You don’t have to be.”

Jin sat up and moved his hands to Ryuzo’s face, gazing into his eyes seriously. His palms grazed the slight stubble of beard at Ryuzo’s jawline, just barely starting to grow in.

“What do you think the answer is?” Jin whispered. Ryuzo was silent for a second or two before he realized Jin was actually waiting for an answer, cupping Ryuzo’s face as if it was precious to him.

“You’re crazy,” Ryuzo said, laughing under his breath. He remembered his angry words to Jin at the side of the river when Jin asked why Ryuzo had kissed him. _Because you drive me crazy._

“No,” Jin said, and pressed his lips to Ryuzo’s.

“Because you like to piss people off,” Ryuzo whispered against his lips, his breath hitching a little as Jin’s hand found the tie of his yukata, loosening it to find the bare skin of his chest underneath. His eyes fluttered, squeezing shut.

“Not even close,” Jin whispered back, sliding his hands up Ryuzo’s back from the bottom of his shirt, feeling the warm play of muscles underneath the skin there.

“I love you,” Ryuzo said, his tone growing low and fierce. He pulled Jin across his lap, leaning in to whisper it again in the shell of Jin’s ear. “Because I love you.”

Jin leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Ryuzo’s.

“Close enough.”


	6. Getting Caught Making Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin and Ryuzo head for the Adachi estate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Run, baby, run  
>  Don't ever look back  
> They'll tear us apart  
> If you give them the chance  
> Don't sell your heart  
> Don't say we're not meant to be  
> Run, baby, run  
> Forever we'll be  
> You and me._ \- "Check Yes Juliet", We the Kings

Ryuzo grew bolder.

Jin noticed it first in the way that Ryuzo had started looking at him. Ryuzo was always forward—insolent, his uncle said, although Ryuzo was generally smart enough to hold his tongue in the presence of the jito. But having Jin’s affection in return made him reckless.

Part of Jin wanted to pull him aside and tell him to be more discreet… but another part of him thrilled at the way Ryuzo looked at him with dark, knowing eyes across the table or dueling ring. The way he would let his hand linger for slightly too long or his fingers brush bare skin. The look he gave Jin after bowing to him, as if daring Jin to keep him down there.

It made Jin scared, but it made him _want_ , too. What he wanted, he wasn’t sure. The few kisses that Ryuzo had managed to press on him in the darkness of night in his quarters felt like sweet fire.

He only knew that the feel of Ryuzo’s eyes on him in daylight, out of the protection of the shadows, made his heart pound and his blood run hot.

**

There was talk of bandits harassing Omi Village. At first Shimura intended to send a regiment of men west to bolster the defenses there and patrol the surrounding woods, but over dinner Jin asked quietly if he might be permitted to go instead.

Shimura paused where he was bringing up a bite of rice. Jin was confident that he had a good chance to get his way—he so rarely asked his uncle for anything, he couldn’t remember the last time he was denied a request.

“Alone? I don’t think so, Jin. You can take a group of men.”

“I didn’t intend to go alone. I was going to take Ryuzo with me for protection.”

Shimura placed the rice in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully as he regarded Jin across the table. After what felt like an eternity of silence, he swallowed and said:

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Ryuzo lately.”

Jin didn’t detect either anger or curiosity in his uncle’s voice. Only a calm, watchful tone. It made him instantly wary. 

“Yes,” Jin replied, eating a bite of his own food. He wasn’t exactly sure how to answer that declaration. It felt like a trap.

“Maybe you should take someone else, for a change,” Shimura said. “Call on Shigesato or Yasunari. Or both. They are strong swords.”

“What’s wrong with Ryuzo?” Jin asked.

“Nothing,” Shimura replied, almost too quickly. “But Jin… you’re reaching the age where you and Ryuzo will need to begin looking to your respective futures. Soon you’re going to become busy with lessons to prepare you for your station. Ryuzo must turn to his father’s farm, or to the _ronin_.”

“Why must he be a _ronin_ , though?” Jin said carefully. “He could be _kashindan.”_

Shimura leveled his eyes at Jin across the table, and now they were harder. “Jin, he is not samurai. He is a peasant.”

“He is one of the strongest swords on the island.”

“He has ideas above his station,” Shimura said. “And he grows too close. Jin, your position on Tsushima is important, politically. You need people close to you who are politically significant, within your own caste. Do you understand that?”

“Yes, Uncle.” 

“Even if you could make Ryuzo your _kashindan,_ think on it. Do you believe that Ryuzo would ever truly bend the knee to you? Could he bow and call you master?”

“He loves to call me Lord Sakai,” Jin said, taking a sip of his oolong tea. _It’s his favorite way to irritate me._

“In jest,” Shimura countered. His voice was still deadly serious. “He does not respect you, but you are blinded to it. Not as he should. No, Ryuzo has no master. Not really. He resents the idea of it. And that makes him dangerous to you, Jin.”

Jin made a grimace of disbelief, letting out a laugh despite himself. “Ryuzo? No. Uncle, no man on this island is more loyal to me. I would trust him with my life.”

“You need to be able to trust him with more than that,” Shimura said. “Your _kashindan_ should be men who owe their estates to you. The Adachis are your subordinates, but they still have great influence on the island. You must draw them closer to you.”

“And cast Ryuzo aside?” Jin asked, his voice rising slightly. 

“No,” Shimura said. “But keep him to his place.”

“His place is at my side,” Jin insisted. “Uncle, if I am going to fight bandits, I need him. I will take Shigesato and Yasunari too, if you like. But please let me bring him along. He’s a better sword than either of them.”

Shimura looked at Jin silently, until he felt the urge to squirm under that assessing stare.

Finally, the jito sighed. “As you wish. You _will_ take Shigesato and Yasunari with you, if they answer the call. They should. But keep my words in mind. Ryuzo has a path, and so do you. They won’t always be on the same road. And there will come a day you will need Shigesato and Yasunari on your side—and their father—far more than you need Ryuzo.”

“Yes, Uncle,” Jin said.

But in his heart, he did not believe it.

** 

“We’re going to Omi in a week,” Jin said to Ryuzo as he walked up, slashing his bokken idly at the pampas grass.

Ryuzo looked up at his words, eyebrows raised. “Omi? You mean you’re going home? Oi… that’s the first time you’ll be going back since…” Ryuzo trailed off, not wanting to mention Kazumasa’s name.

“Yes,” Jin said. “There’s been a group of bandits harassing travelers on the road. Lord Shimura promised to send armed men up there to root them out. I asked for the privilege of leading them. And for you to come along.”

Ryuzo gave Jin a slanted, cynical grin at that, one Jin wasn’t sure that he liked. “I’m sure he was thrilled about that.”

“Shigesato and Yasunari will be going too. We travel for Adachi first.”

At the mention of the other young samurai, Ryuzo rolled his head back on his neck dramatically, looking at Jin with his eyebrows raised. “The Adachi boys?”

“What’s wrong with them?” Jin replied, trying to keep his tone light. Ryuzo was being melodramatic, but Jin knew that his dislike for the Adachis was not for show.

“They’re so… _serious_.” Ryuzo scowled like a mask, furrowing his brow dangerously, and Jin couldn’t help but laugh.

“They are the sons of samurai.”

“Overbred dicks,” Ryuzo said, walking forward to gently tap his bokken against Jin’s shin. “And their mother makes mine want to crawl back inside myself in self-preservation.”

“Lady Masako isn’t _that_ bad.”

“To _you._ You’re the jito’s heir. I’ve seen the way she side-eyes me.”

“She just knows what an insolent cur you really are,” Jin replied, raising an eyebrow back at him. “You can’t hide behind your manners with Adachi. She has the gaze of a hawk.”

“You say that like I have manners. Insolent? Ai, you really _were_ talking to your uncle about me. That’s one of his favorite words.” Ryuzo hoisted himself up on the top of the rock garden wall where they were walking, letting his feet dangle down, idly kicking the stones with the heels of his sandals. Jin hopped up beside him, wanting desperately to touch him but knowing how open they were on every side. How vulnerable to prying eyes. Instead he satisfied himself to sit within a few inches of Ryuzo, close enough to feel the warmth of his body.

Jin had found him napping in a hay bale after a hard day of work helping his father, cradling a gourd of sake in his arms like a kitten. It had taken all Jin’s considerable willpower not to push Ryuzo deeper into the hay and wrap his arms around him. Instead, he summoned him to the castle for training. Now, after their exercises, he could feel the heat of Ryuzo’s recent exertion radiating off him. He risked a glance at Ryuzo’s profile in the red light of the setting sun, which was just beginning to go down.

Ryuzo felt him watching and turned to look into Jin’s face. His eyes seemed very close.

“What are you staring at?” Ryuzo asked, but there was a grin in his voice.

Jin turned his head to look back out on the garden, smiling.

“Just you.”

**

They rode through the Golden Forest, headed for Adachi. The Adachi samurai patrolled the area heavily, and the area was one of the safest along the jito’s road. It was easy for Jin and Ryuzo to fall into ease as they walked along, almost easy enough for them to forget they would soon be headed north again to take lives, if they could.

“We’re getting close,” Jin said, leaning down to pat his horse on the neck.

Ryuzo rode beside him. “Not too late to turn back and just say we took them with us. Your uncle probably won’t think to check and ask about it until at least the Tenno Festival.”

Jin snorted. “Yes, and how do you think he would react to the news that we lied to his face? You don’t have to live with him.”

“I’m sure the two of us alone could handle a handful of lowly bandits.”

“You’ll be glad for the extra swords once we get up there,” Jin replied. “And bows. The Adachis were trained by Nagao’s archers. If we’re outnumbered, we’ll need them at a distance.”

“Does it make you nervous to fight bandits, after what happened to your father?” Jin felt his breath grow tight at the mention of Kazumasa.

“No,” Jin said.

“Good. Because I’ll protect you,” Ryuzo said. “So there’s nothing to be nervous about.”

Jin thought about asking Ryuzo if he’d ever be _kashindan._ But his uncle seemed dead set against it, and he hated to even put the thought in Ryuzo’s head if it could never come to pass. He already knew Ryuzo chafed at his lack of status. He didn’t want to rub Ryuzo’s nose in it.

 _Will you always be there to protect me, Ryuzo?_ he thought. _Will you bow before me and call me your master?_ Jin couldn’t even think how to ask such questions. Whenever he thought of Ryuzo kneeling before him, seeing the other young man prostrate in deference was definitely _not_ the image that sprung to mind.

“What are you over there blushing about?” Ryuzo said, startling Jin out of his thoughts.

“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” Jin said, and Ryuzo laughed at him, the deep throaty laugh of pure delight that Jin loved so much.

“Insolence. You’ve been spending too much time with me.”

“It’s your own fault.”

They rode through the _torii_ gate that led up to the Adachi _minka._ Armed samurai waved them through the gates when they saw Jin in Shimura armor, bearing the jito’s banner on his back.

“Are you going to get your father’s armor?” Ryuzo asked as they walked their horses up to the front veranda of the estate.

“No. I don’t want it. Yuriko can watch over it.” Jin smiled out of reflex as he saw Shigesato walk out to the entrance of the _minka_ , his face set in the same solemn expression Jin could remember seeing on it the last time they met. He agreed with Ryuzo on that front—they were serious sons of bitches. Shigesato bowed.

“My lord Sakai,” he said. “It is an honor to greet you. Welcome to the house of Adachi. My father will receive you in the tea room.”

“Thank you, Shigesato,” Jin said as he dismounted, returning the bow. Ryuzo got down and followed the motion. “You did not have to come out and greet me in person.”

“Nonsense, my lord,” Shigesato said. He cast a glance at Ryuzo and seemed to dismiss him in the same second. “Come, follow me. I’ll take you to my father and mother.”

Ryuzo cast Jin a glance, twitching his eyebrows upward, and Jin caught it, shaking his head ever-so-slightly as the two of them walked behind Shigesato. It was odd for Harunobu to include his wife in such a thing. But Lady Masako was no ordinary samurai’s wife, as far as that went.

They followed Shigesato into the generous Adachi tea room, which was adorned with painted shoji screens that held incredibly vivid scenes. On one behind the lord and lady of Adachi, birds so vivid they seemed about to fly off the paper burst up out of a tangle of flowers. At either corner of the room, the Adachi banners with the trillium flower stood. Guards stood there, as well.

Both Lady Masako and Lord Harunobu walked around the table to kneel before Jin, putting their foreheads to the tatami mat. Ryuzo did the same to them, but Jin simply bowed deeply at the waist.

“Lord Harunobu, Lady Masako. Thank you for receiving me. This is my friend, Ryuzo. I believe you may have met before.”

“Indeed,” Masako said. “Please, sit.”

The three Adachis sat on one side of the low table, while Jin and Ryuzo sat on the other. Within a few moments, Yasunari joined them, his hair still damp from the bath.

“Ah, Lord Sakai,” he said. “We got your courier. I didn’t realize you’d be coming for us personally. We had intended to ride for Castle Shimura.”

“My uncle thought it best we ride together,” Jin said, feeling Ryuzo glance at him but not meeting his gaze. “Four swords are better than two. And he would take the time for us to gather news from your halls directly,” he added. 

“Of course,” Harunobu said. “We live to serve the jito and yourself, my lord. My sons are proud to fight at your side. And we are proud to show you the hospitality of House Adachi. Your horses will be tended, and all of you boys will feast tonight before you ride out to roust those cutthroats.”

Jin thought he saw Ryuzo perk up slightly out of the corner of his eye. Whatever his issue with the Adachis and their sense of humor or lack thereof, he was _never_ opposed to a hearty meal. He was, Jin thought, the hungriest man that Jin had ever known. In all things.

“We’d be happy to dine with you, Lord Adachi,” Jin said. “And we thank you for your hospitality.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to chaperone this little field trip?” Lady Masako said to Harunobu, eyeing the four young men sitting at her table, their earnest faces peering at her.

“For what reason? These are men before you,” Harunobu said, looking proudly at them all. “They don’t need an old man slowing them down.”

“Showing them up, you mean,” Lady Masako said. 

Harunobu grinned. “Just so. In any case, Shigesato and Yasunari are old enough to take care of themselves.”

“And what about Lord Sakai? He is not so old as Shigesato and Yasunari. How about you, boy?” she said to Ryuzo. “How old are you?”

“Eighteen, my lady,” Ryuzo said. Though Jin could practically feel him bristle at the word _boy._

“And you are younger, Lord Sakai?”

“Only by a little, my lady,” Jin replied.

“Hmph,” Lady Masako said, looking them over. “I have half a mind to escort you myself.”

Yasunari made an indignant noise. “Haha-ue, you would not.”

“Don’t tempt me,” she said, making Harunobu laugh. “You better be careful. If you get hurt doing something stupid, I’ll lock you up here like a shogun’s daughter until you’re old enough to know better.” A servant brought in a platter of green tea and snacks, the fragrant bitter smell wafting through the room. Refreshments were passed out and while Jin only nibbled lightly at a red bean paste _wagashi_ , Ryuzo was putting them away, going after the mochi ones especially.

“After you boys finish eating, you’ll all go bathe and get ready for supper later. I’ll have my retainers make sure your horses are outfitted for the trip,” Masako said, her voice brooking no argument.

**

Later that night, after a robust spread of grilled eel over a bed of rice with temaki, Jin and Ryuzo retired to one of the guest bedrooms of the _minka_ after sitting up for a few hours with the Adachis and their sons _._ They had ridden all day to get to Ariake from Castle Shimura, and Jin felt pure and simple exhaustion sliding over him like a warm blanket as they sought out their guest quarters. Ryuzo padded silently beside him, lost in his own thoughts.

Servants had laid out two futons on the tatami mats along the right wall, and Jin went to set his pack beside one of them. Both of them were freshly scrubbed from the bath, and Jin supposed that was one of the things that was making him feel so sleepy, even though it was relatively early.

“I hate to tell you, Jin,” Ryuzo said, “But Adachi’s cook puts Shimura’s cook under the table. You should steal him away.”

“I can’t believe Yasunari caught those eels himself,” Jin said, lying down as Ryuzo blew the candles out. He shivered a little as he felt Ryuzo laid down next to him, and Ryuzo’s elbow came out to gently poke him in the side.

“I can’t believe it either. When’s the last time _you_ went and caught us some eels for supper?”

“I could ask you the same question,” Jin whispered in the dark. “You’re the one who is supposed to be such a great fisherman. Where’s your tribute for the jito’s table?”

A warm weight settled on Jin’s hand where it was lying next to him under the blankets, and he grinned in the dark, turning it over. Ryuzo slotted their fingers together.

“Thank you for coming with me.”

“Hhn. Not like I had much of a choice. You could have just ordered me to do it,” Ryuzo said, talking into a yawn.

“I wouldn’t have ordered you if you didn’t want to fight beside me.” Jin’s soft voice took on a sad tone.

He heard Ryuzo shift his head in the shadows, and suddenly the other young man was leaning over him, gazing down in the dark.

“What’s going on with you? You’ve been half-strange all day.”

Jin reached up and found the side of Ryuzo’s neck in the dark, his hand sliding up to touch the warm skin there, playing with the light beard at the ridge of his jaw. “Nothing.”

“You’re an awful liar,” Ryuzo murmured.

Jin sighed, then pulled at Ryuzo’s neck. He went down willingly, laying his head on Jin’s chest, laying his arm across Jin’s waist.

“Just things with my uncle. About becoming the jito.”

“Oi, you got the talk.” Ryuzo’s voice was light, but Jin could hear a tight line of tension underneath it. “Did you quarrel?”

“Not exactly,” Jin said quietly, and raised a hand to Ryuzo’s head, stroking it. He felt Ryuzo sigh against him.

“So, what did you talk about?”

“Hm, I don’t think we should discuss it here,” Jin said, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Or around the others.”

“Ah.”

They grew silent for a few moments. There was a full moon, and a patch of it fell through the window to form a bright square on the floor, lighting the room. Jin found himself staring at it as he ran his fingers lazily through Ryuzo’s hair.

He moved to sit up, leaning against the wall, and Ryuzo sat up with him, shifting closer. Ryuzo’s hand came up to turn Jin’s head towards him, tilted against the wooden panels of the wall, and then Ryuzo was leaning forward to kiss him, mouth moving softly against his before trailing down to mouth at his jawline, his tongue running a hot line up Jin’s ear, making him shudder and close his eyes.

 _We shouldn’t be doing this here._

Jin’s mind suddenly supplied him with an image of any member of the household coming through the door and almost as if he had conjured it with his thoughts alone, there was a soft swishing sound as the shoji screen opened, causing Ryuzo to freeze against him, jerking away. But not before Jin saw Lady Masako’s shocked face framed in the soft candlelight from the hallway. Without speaking, she slid the screen again quickly.

 _Oh fuck._ Jin’s face burned in the darkness. He was amazed he wasn’t giving off light like a bed of banked embers.

“Oh fuck,” Ryuzo said out loud.

Jin started to get up, and Ryuzo grabbed his wrist, vise-like. “Where are you going?” Ryuzo hissed.

“To go talk to her.”

“Are you _crazy?”_ Ryuzo replied, keeping his voice almost lower than a whisper. “Maybe she didn’t see anything. Even if she did, maybe she’ll keep her mouth shut.”

“Let go. She’s not an idiot. She saw.” Jin jerked his wrist away and Ryuzo let him, a flash of hurt racing across his face before it fell into a guarded expression in the dark. Without another word to him, Jin moved to open the shoji screen and headed out into the tea room where he could still see candles burning. The rest of the household was cloaked in sleeping quiet.

Lady Masako was sitting at the low table alone, an intricately carved wooden cup beside her, and a gourd beside that. Jin felt his face grow hotter when she looked up to meet his gaze.

“Drink? You look as if you need it,” Lady Masako said, holding the gourd up to Jin. Moving as if in a dream, Jin sat down across from her, taking it from her hand as he watched her watching him with a bemused expression. He felt vaguely guilty for accepting the sake—his uncle didn’t believe in it, said that it dulled the reflexes.

But he did feel like he needed it for this particular conversation.

The gourd was already uncorked, and he lifted it to his lips, swallowing down the lump in his throat before setting it back down on the table, feeling the sake snake like fire into his gut.

“You look like a mourner at your own funeral,” Masako said curtly but with a soft tone so as not to be overheard, bringing her own cup to her lips. “Peace, Lord Sakai. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. Or done, for that matter. Remember that I’m old enough to be your mother twice over.” 

Jin swallowed. “My lady, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be improper. Please forgive me.”

She waved him off, keeping her voice quiet. “It’s not my business, Lord Sakai. I apologize for not announcing myself. I thought you were already asleep and was just checking over the house before retiring here. I don’t sleep well, you see. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“Will you tell my uncle?” Jin asked.

Masako’s eyebrows shot up in mild surprise. “Why on earth would I do that?”

“I…” Jin’s brow furrowed. “Why wouldn’t you?”

Masako sipped her sake. “What lovers do in dark corners is none of the jito’s business. I believe the man may have bigger fish to fry. I would try to restrain yourselves in front of Shigesato and Yasunari though. They aren’t the worldliest of men. A fault of mine, I believe. They’ve been sheltered that way.”

Jin opened his mouth as if to say something and then shut it abruptly. He felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and he let out a harsh exhalation. He saw an expression cross Masako’s face that almost looked sad.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Thank you, my lady,” Jin said.

Masako looked at him, looking faintly amused. “Do you think you’re the first noble who has ever been infatuated with a beautiful peasant?”

 _I’m not infatuated._ Seeing the expression of protest cross Jin’s face, Masako smiled. “You don’t fool me, boy. Any more smitten and you’ll be finishing each other’s sentences.”

“In any case, I thank you,” Jin said. “For your discretion.”

“Don’t think on it again,” Masako said. “Now you should return to bed. And _sleep._ Dawn will come early, and you’ll want to get a good start on the road after breakfast. No more sake for you, you’re too young.” She waved a hand at him.

Jin stood and bowed deeply before returning to the hallway and the guest room. He slid the shoji screen open and stepped into the darkness, seeing Ryuzo leaned up against the wall, legs crossed beneath the blankets on his futon. He looked up when Jin walked in, raising his eyebrows slightly.

Jin shook his head, kneeling and sliding back under the covers. “It’s fine.”

“What do you mean, it’s fine?” Ryuzo whispered, but he laid back down too, visibly relieved. “What did she say?”

“She said not to worry about it. I’m sorry I pulled away from you,” Jin added, whispering. He laid his hand on Ryuzo’s forearm beneath the blanket. “It startled me. I didn’t know what to do.”

“It’s fine,” Ryuzo said. Jin curled up along the line of his body, warming himself against bare skin where he could touch it.

“Don’t be upset,” he said.

“Hn,” Ryuzo replied. But Jin felt the tight lines of his body soften slightly at his words as Ryuzo relaxed against the tatami mat, pulling the blankets up further around him.

“She called you beautiful.”

Ryuzo let out a huffing noise of disbelief. But he chuckled a little under his breath after a few seconds and put his arm around Jin’s shoulders.

“You’re just trying to flatter me,” he whispered.

“Is it working?”

“Maybe. Let me think about it,” Ryuzo said, and pulled Jin closer to him as he closed his eyes.


	7. Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys track bandits at Omi Village.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: There is some allusion to rape in this chapter (not graphic)
> 
> Also as far as the timeline goes, this shot is set a few weeks after the side story "Volcano": https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112703
> 
> As usual sorry for any minor typos, I will catch them ASAP! 
> 
> _What if I wanted to fight  
>  Beg for the rest of my life?  
> What would you do?  
> You say you wanted more  
> What are you waiting for?  
> I'm not running from you._ \- "The Kill", 30 Seconds to Mars

“I have a surprise for after we’ve accomplished our task here,” Ryuzo said as he walked his horse beside Jin’s, heading north to Omi. They had been galloping for a while but stopped to rest their mounts. They had a long way to go from Ariake to Omi and didn’t want to wear them down.

The Adachi brothers walked their horses behind them, arguing about some family story or other. Ryuzo hadn’t been listening to them for an hour. He only had eyes for Jin.

Jin looked over at him, raising his eyebrows slightly and managing to look worried at the same time. “A surprise?”

Ryuzo quirked his mouth. “You don’t like surprises?”

“Depends on what they are.”

“I think you’ll like this one,” Ryuzo said, looking a little too pleased with himself for Jin’s comfort.

“You’re not even going to give me a hint of what it is?” he asked.

“Not even remotely.” Ryuzo tilted his head subtly towards the two samurai arguing a little distance behind them, and Jin had known him long to read the gesture perfectly: _Not in front of them._ “We’re getting close anyway.”

Shigesato heard him, but addressed Jin instead. “This is your first time back to your estate since your father died, my lord?”

“Yes, Lord Adachi,” Jin said, trying to keep any stiffness out of his reply. “I have stayed with my uncle ever since my father died. He has no sons of his own and Castle Shimura gets lonely, so he said. I don’t mind the company either.”

“Still, the people of your village must need a leader,” Yasunari said, his voice quieter than Shigesato’s. “You don’t intend to return to the north to watch over them? Surely there would be no bandits hounding Omi if you were here.”

“Once we leave here, there won’t be bandits left,” Jin said, his voice as quiet as Yasunari’s, but harder. “We’ll teach them what happens when they harass the villages.”

“Sounds like Kazumasa,” Shigesato muttered, earning a sharp _tch_ from Yasunari.

Jin tried not to tense when he heard his father’s name, but he couldn’t help it. He saw Ryuzo glance over at him out of the corner of his eye.

“Have you heard anything about these bandits?” Ryuzo asked him. “Other than the obvious?”

“They’ve killed a few people on the road,” Jin replied, scanning his gaze into the surrounding woods. Everything seemed quiet enough—they had only seen a few peasants on the road, who gave way to them readily, bowing and turning their faces away until the samurai had passed. “Not far from here, actually. They’ve only attacked merchants and unarmed farmers. But be on your guard. They have bows.” 

“They would be bold bandits to ambush a samurai company,” Yasunari said.

“It wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened,” Jin replied. “You know what happened to Kazumasa.”

  
“Yes,” Yasunari said shortly. “His loss was felt by us all.”

Jin didn’t answer, only nudged his horse Inazuma into a gallop, outstepping all of them as he thundered down the main road, kicking up autumn leaves in a cloud. Ryuzo urged his own horse to follow, scowling as he tried to catch up, and he heard the Adachis curse and take up the rear.

**

Jin didn’t slow down until the horses were lathered with a light sweat, the golden rays of afternoon began to sink into a red twilight, and the village of Omi loomed before them. People made way for them when they came through the gates of the village, clearing their path, but Jin thought he could see looks of surprise—even disbelief—on a few of the faces they passed.

_It has been eight years since I’ve been here._

Jin found it hard to believe that so much time had passed since Kazumasa’s death. Everything looked exactly as it had when he left it. He led Ryuzo, Shigesato, and Yasunari to the village stables and arranged for their horses to be rested and tended. There was a stable at the Sakai estate too, but Jin knew that Yuriko was alone in the place except for one or two retainers left to maintain it, and he didn’t want to burden them with caring for the animals.

He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to stay in the Sakai estate while they were here, but he wasn’t sure how to bring it up with the others. Ryuzo, for his part, looked tired and put out. The Adachis had grown quiet after Jin rode off, but also looked wear in the saddle.

“We should rest at the inn,” Jin said. Yasunari turned to him sharply.

“We will not return to your estate for the night, my lord?”

Jin returned his gaze. “We need to ask around and see what the locals know about these bandits. See what they’ve heard. We’ll learn more in town that we’d learn at my home. I’d rather not burden them.”

“I doubt it would be a burden,” Shigesato said, choosing his words carefully. “I’m sure those in your household would like to see you after such a long time.”

“Is that your way of saying you’d rather not stay in some flea-bitten inn, Lord Adachi?” Ryuzo said.

“I will stay wherever it please Lord Sakai,” Shigesato replied, but Jin heard the cold undertone in his voice at Ryuzo’s teasing words.

“We should at least stop and get some drinks and feel the place out,” Jin said. “I don’t mind us spending the night at home, but we need to spend some time in the village first. I want to know if anybody knows anything that could help us before we have to comb the woods one trail at a time until we get lucky. We can’t just ride up and down the road, they’re not likely to attack us. They’re not that stupid. We’ll have to track them.”

“Like the animals they are,” Shigesato said, causing his brother to look at him.

“Yes,” Jin replied, softly. He walked towards the village inn and Ryuzo fell into step beside him, with Shigesato and Yasunari close behind.

“That was a long ride,” Ryuzo said, stretching his shoulders as they walked. “I know I’ll be glad to grab a futon in one place or the other tonight.” Jin didn’t look over at him and kept his face perfectly neutral, not wanting the others to read anything into it if Ryuzo was making some kind of innuendo.

But the truth is that he was glad Ryuzo was at his side, and he resented the Adachi brothers being with them as much as Ryuzo did. How much easier would it be to be back home if he could have spent the ride speaking freely with Ryuzo, looking forward to sharing a warm futon in the night. Now he was unsure if it was even a good idea to sleep in the same room with Ryuzo after what had happened at the Adachi estate.

Just the thought of it made his blood burn. It was only a few weeks ago that Ryuzo had finally touched him, _really_ touched him, stripped him and laid him bare and brought him to a gasping finish while the thunder pealed outside and rain battered the eaves above them. Jin remembered the hot, velvet feel of Ryuzo’s cock in his hand before Ryuzo pulled his hand away, pressing him to the tatami mat and rocking against him until he found his own pleasure.

It was the first time they’d ever done anything like that—the first time Jin had ever done anything like that with _anyone—_ and there hadn’t been another incident like it since, not until Ryuzo’s advances at the Adachi estate. But Jin could feel Ryuzo’s want simmering just below the surface whenever the other man looked at him, his eyes lingering too long for comfort, long enough that Jin worried others would see that look and see right through it. He could almost feel Ryuzo’s regard for him like a warm heat baking off him whenever they were close together.

Ryuzo wanted it to happen again.

“It will be nice to get some drinks,” Jin said. They came up to the inn, which was named Kumo and was one of the largest in Toyotama, with multiple stories. The first floor of the building contained the common room, while the two stories above contained beds for travelers, partitioned off by shoji screens.

Ryuzo let out a low whistle as they walked through the doors, which felt like walking into a dim, warm cave full of candlelight and cheerful voices. Jin watched him take in a deep sniff, breathing in the fragrance of tea and good food that lingered around them. “Oi, Jin. It’s too bad we don’t have anything this nice in Shimura. I have heard of this place, but I’ve never had the chance to see it.”

A beautiful woman came up to them in a cream-colored silk kimono, sumptuous for a peasant woman. Her hair was as black and glossy as a raven’s wing, and she had dark eyes to match. She was pretty enough that Jin looked twice and flushed when he caught himself.

She bowed deeply to them.

“My lords, welcome to Kumo. I am Chiyo.”

“We are _very_ welcome,” Ryuzo said, and Jin elbowed him gently in the side.

“Thank you for your hospitality,” Jin said. “I am Lord Sakai, and these are the lords Adachi. My friend here with the mouth is Ryuzo. Can we get some tea and water? We’re parched from the road.”

The woman seemed to start at the name Sakai. She bowed again. “My Lord Sakai. My deepest apologies. It has been years since you were here. I did not recognize you.”

“I would not have expected you to,” he replied, feeling uncomfortable. His words had carried in the tea room, and a few men at the other tables looked up at him in curiosity and with looks of quiet wonder. It made Jin painfully aware of how long it had been before he had dared to show his place in this village, as if he was the one who had murdered Kazumasa and was exiled for it. 

“Come, come.” The woman in the cream kimono ushered them towards a quiet corner of the inn, settling them around a short, low table. Jin sat across from Ryuzo, and Shigesato sat across from Yasunari. The four young men regarded each other awkwardly while they waited for their drinks.

“No _sake_?” Ryuzo griped.

“We need to keep a clear head until this is done,” Jin said, meeting his eye. “Besides, this is an _ochaya._ The tea here is very good.”

Jin saw Ryuzo perk up at the word, but he sensibly said nothing. For once.

The female host of the inn brought over a ceramic pot of tea and cups, along with some goblets of cold fresh well water from the dipping bucket. After hours on the road, Jin was practically salivating at the chance to get a drink. Unlike Ryuzo, he didn’t care whether it had alcohol in it or not.

The group of men settled down to their drinks, and into a companionable silence. The inn’s tea room bustled around them. Jin waited until the woman in the cream kimono didn’t seem occupied with another customer, then waved her back over.

“Chiyo,” Jin said. “I’ve come with my friends because I hear that the village has been assaulted by bandits over the past few weeks. I mean to put an end to it. Tell me, what do you know of these bandits?”

Chiyo’s cheerful expression clouded. “They have killed a few people on the road that I know of, my lord. And they took a woman, Fumi. The smith’s wife. They returned her after a few days, took her out into the woods blindfolded and left her. She came back to the village but…” The woman shrugged helplessly.

 _They kept her but let her go when they tired of her._ Jin met Ryuzo’s eyes across the table. He was young, but he was old enough to know what that probably meant for the smith’s wife. He hoped the smith was a loving man who would not judge her as damaged goods.

“Dogs,” Yasunari muttered into his cup.

“Where would I find the smith’s house?” Jin asked.

“It’s on the east end, attached to the forge. You will be able to see the smoke, my lord.”

“Thank you, Chiyo.” Jin drained his cup and stood before putting some _yen_ on the table, looking at the others. “Stay here. I’m going to walk to the smith’s house and see if I can’t talk to this woman. I don’t want to frighten her with a group. Just rest here awhile until I return.”

Ryuzo stood too. “I’ll go with you.”

Jin looked at him. “I’ll go alone.”

Shigesato and Yasunari looked at each other.

“I’ve sworn an oath to protect you, Lord Sakai,” Ryuzo said, his voice soft. “I cannot let you go alone. Not with bandits at hand.”

_Gods damn it, Ryuzo._

“Fine,” Jin said. He looked at the other two. “We’ll be back shortly.”

Jin and Ryuzo walked out.

**

As soon as they were out of earshot of the tea house, Jin turned on Ryuzo. A hard wind whipped white cherry blossoms down the road around them at their feet.

“What in the hell was that about?” he said.

Ryuzo scowled at him. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Jin said as they walked. “You defied me in there, in front of them. Just to show that you could.” Even just saying the words out made his face burn with humiliation. He had seen the dubious look that Shigesato and Yasunari exchanged. He knew what it meant.

“I wasn’t _defying_ you,” Ryuzo said, his voice growing heated in return. “I was telling the truth. I _am_ sworn to protect you, and you shouldn’t go alone. It’s dangerous and stupid.”

“I’m not leaving the village. I would have been perfectly safe to go alone. I wanted to go alone for a reason, Ryuzo. If the woman gets frightened, I’ll get nothing from her.”

“Kazumasa died in this village. To bandits,” Ryuzo replied softly. “So don’t give me any bullshit about it being perfectly safe here. If it was, we wouldn’t be here. You think I want to see you go down like he did? Have to go and tell your uncle that? No, I wouldn’t be able to, Jin. I’d have to kill myself in shame for letting it happen. And if I didn’t, Shimura would demand it.”

Jin stopped where he was walking and turned to look at Ryuzo. “You don’t believe that.”

Ryuzo met his gaze steadily, his face serious. “You don’t?”

Jin found himself thinking of his uncle’s words before they left: _Ryuzo has no master. Not really. He resents the idea of it. And that makes him dangerous to you, Jin._

  
He looked into Ryuzo’s face, earnest and resentful and—yes—loving. Still loving. The thought that Ryuzo was right, that his uncle would execute Ryuzo for allowing Jin to be killed, made him feel sick, the tea he had just drank foaming in his stomach. 

He shook his head, then turned and kept walking. “You’re crazy.”

“And you’re blind.” 

“Don’t contradict me in front of them again,” Jin said, his tone clipped. “I said you could come, now let it go.”

“As you wish. My _lord.”_ But Ryuzo fell into a sullen silence, walking beside him, and Jin couldn’t be bothered to correct him again.

  
**

Ryuzo was still silent when they got to the smith’s house. Considering how he had been running his mouth since they got to Omi, Jin considered it a welcome change of pace.

Even though it had been eight years since Jin had been to the smith’s forge, the smith’s son who ran it in his stead still managed to recognize Jin. He went down to his knees in front of Jin and Ryuzo, placing his forehead against the cinders on the bare packed dirt of the forge floor.

“Lord Sakai. You honor us.”

“I’m sorry for the intrusion,” Jin said. “Be at peace. I’ve come to speak to your wife if I can. I know it is an imposition, so I must beg your forgiveness. But I need to ask her about the bandits.”

The smith looked up from the floor, a look of fear crossing his face. “My lord, of course, but… please be gentle with her. She is still upset by the ordeal.”

“I can imagine,” Ryuzo said softly, and Jin looked at him briefly before turning back to the smith.

“My wife is inside the house, my lord. Please, follow me.” He barked a few instructions to his apprentice at the bellows, bare-chested with sweat streaming between his shoulder blades, then escorted Jin and Ryuzo inside. 

A small, timid-looking woman sat beside the hearth, and stood when they entered. She bowed to them.

“My lords.”

“Lord Sakai, this is my wife Fumi,” the smith said. “She will answer any question you ask.”

Jin bowed back. “My lady, I am sorry for the pain that you’ve suffered. I feel great guilt that I wasn’t here to protect you.”

She avoided his gaze. “It is no trouble,” she whispered.

Jin walked forward and gently took the woman’s hands in his.

“Fumi.”

She raised her eyes to his, fear and reluctance in them.

“I must know what happened,” Jin said, his voice soothing. “In order to keep them from taking anyone else. What did you see?”

Never raising her voice above a whisper, with her husband watching protectively from the corner, she told them.

**

After they left the forge, Ryuzo followed Jin, keeping a few careful steps behind. It wasn’t hard—on the contrary, it was hard to even keep up with him. He moved through the village like a storm wind, stalking through the marketplace and scattering peasants in his wake with his thunderous expression.

“Jin.”

Jin ignored him and kept walking.

“ _Jin.”_

Jin turned around and Ryuzo had to resist the urge to flinch back at the naked fury in Jin’s eyes.

“You heard what she said, Ryuzo,” he spat. “The spirit of Kazumasa. Wearing antlers tarred with pitch. Those bastards are going around terrorizing the village with my own father’s _name._ Stealing and… and _raping_ —”

Ryuzo saw with dismay that Jin was trembling with the force of his rage, anger that had nowhere to go.

Before he knew what he was doing, Ryuzo moved forward and took Jin’s shoulders, half-expecting Jin to fly off and shove him or hit him in the face. But the jito’s nephew only thrummed with fury under his hands. To Ryuzo it was like holding your hand over a candle just to the point where your flesh began to sear. 

“Jin,” Ryuzo whispered. “Peace. We’ll kill them.” Jin’s eyes met his own where they stood inches apart, close enough to kiss even in the busy village market, and _gods_ Ryuzo wished that’s what they were doing instead.

“We’ll kill them all,” Ryuzo said.

And he meant it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ochaya - A tea house/inn that often employs geisha and other women of the evening. >:)


	8. Can't Keep Their Hands Off Each Other in Public (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lords of Tsushima (and Ryuzo) hunt the Omi bandits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke this chapter into two parts because I felt like it, lol. :D 
> 
> _Now I don’t take pleasure in a man’s pain,  
>  But my wrath will come down like the cold rain.  
> And there won’t be no shelter, no place you can go.  
> It's time to put your hands up, time for surrender,  
> I’m a vigilante, my law’s defender,  
> You’re a wanted man, here everybody knows._ \- "Who Did That to You?" - John Legend

The Adachis could tell that something was wrong when Jin and Ryuzo rejoined them at the tea house. They had ordered a second pot of tea that was fresh at the table, white steam rising from the pot. Ryuzo could tell by the way that Shigesato’s face stiffened into a neutral mask that he didn’t know how to react to Jin’s anger, which felt like the air before a storm.

“You have news, Lord Sakai?” Yasunari asked as they sat back down.

Jin didn’t speak for a moment. Ryuzo ached with the desire to put his arms around him until those hard lines softened, until he cried, maybe. But there would be no tears, he saw. Jin’s eyes were dry, and his gaze was cold.

“Yes,” Jin said, his voice flat. “The bandits have been pretending to be my father’s spirit. The peasants say it is the ghost of Kazumasa.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Shigesato said. “Who would believe such nonsense?”

“Less people now that the smith’s wife has been returned to tell the truth of it,” Jin said. “Before that, the villagers were burning incense at my father’s grave to ward his angry spirit away.” His words were calm and flat now but Ryuzo could hear the anger burning behind them, like a candle in a lantern. “They have been wearing helmets topped with deer antlers when they attack people on the road. Made out to look like Kazumasa’s _kabuto.”_

 _Not Kazumasa’s. Yours,_ Ryuzo thought.

“Did she tell you where they were?” Yasunari said, stern and soft.

“She told me where she was taken, and in what direction. We’ll need to go there tonight to see if we can’t determine where they are from the campfire. And it’s possible they’ve left a trail, if there are many of them.”

“Attacking at night will be more dangerous,” Yasunari said. “For them and for us.”

“It’s our best chance to catch them off-guard,” Jin replied. “Asleep or in their cups.”

“Better drink up our tea then, if we want to stay awake,” Ryuzo muttered, grabbing a fresh cup that had been placed down where their empty ones were taken away. He served Jin before serving himself, and the four warriors sat in a moody silence.

“How was the smith’s wife?” Yasunari said.

Jin looked up from where he was staring into his own fresh, half-empty cup of tea. Ryuzo thought he saw an expression of careful pity on the elder Adachi’s face. _It’s wasted on him,_ Ryuzo thought. _Jin hates pity worse than poison. At least for himself._

“As well as could be expected,” Jin replied. “Her husband is kind, at least.”

“I can’t believe what some men would do,” Yasunari said. “Given the chance.”

Ryuzo, who could remember almost suffocating with a face full of grass and dirt while larger sons of samurai held him into the dirt, laughing, could believe it just fine.

“They won’t be able to do it after tonight,” Jin said. “And I have the steel to make sure of it.”

Ryuzo looked over at Jin, worried. Jin, who had not killed a man since he was ten, and that man defeated, kneeling and probably dying. Jin, who still had nightmares of Kazumasa’s death so fierce that he woke Ryuzo with his terrified moans some black nights.

 _He truly wants them dead._ It was something Ryuzo had never seen in Jin before. Jin was never a boy to pull wings off insects or torment cats. He wasn’t cruel. But for the first time, Ryuzo thought he saw that Jin could be. If he had to.

He could see men afraid of Jin, the same way they were of Kazumasa. It was a sobering thought.

Chiyo approached the table. “My lords, how is the tea?”

Jin flinched as if struck out of his inner thoughts, then mustered a wan smile. “Excellent, thank you. And thank you for the information as well.”

“We thank you for coming to our aid, my lords,” Chiyo said. “It has gotten so the merchants from the neighboring villages are afraid to brave the road, and travelers. Without visitors to the _ochaya_ and the tea and sake to serve them, we wouldn’t be in business for long.”

“We need to return to the forest before full dark,” Jin said. “See if we can pick up a trail.”

Ryuzo swallowed back the remainder of his tea and clacked the thick pottery tea cup against the table. He stood. “Let’s go then. And find these bastards.” 

**

By the time they reached the point on the jito’s road that the smith’s wife had said she was taken from, the red afternoon light had taken on a purple tint of dusk. Jin directed his horse off the main road, in the direction that Fumi told him the man in the black antlered helmet had taken her, and Ryuzo rode beside him.

“Lord Sakai.”

Jin looked over at him, and Ryuzo saw him raise his eyebrows slightly at him at the title. Ryuzo kept his voice soft and gentle, to show Jin he wasn’t being mocking.

“Are you all right?” Ryuzo asked.

Jin turned back to the forest ahead. “Fine. Better when we end this. There.” Jin jointed down at a game trail where even in the gloom Ryuzo could see the marks of hoofprints mixed with those of sika deer, smaller and lighter, more pointed in the toe. “They followed along here. A band.”

He turned and followed the hoofprints, and the others followed.

“Lord Sakai, don’t you think we should stow the horses, go on foot?” Ryuzo said.

“We don’t know how much further into the woods the trail follows,” Jin said, urging his horse on faster, crashing through the underbrush. “They could be deep in the woods.”

“Bound to hear us coming this way,” Yasunari said.

“Let them,” Shigesato said. “We’ll bring their heads back to pike at the village gates.”

 _Spoken like a little boy,_ Ryuzo thought. But he checked Jin’s face and saw that he wouldn’t be surprised if Jin was thinking the exact same thing.

 _It’s the Kazumasa thing._ But there was no way for Ryuzo to comfort Jin about his father with Shigesato and Yasunari close at hand. No way to make it better except to kill the people who had dredged up this poison for Jin to drink along with his tea, not able to even come back to his home village without having the scabs ripped off of his deepest wounds, leaving him to bleed and remember.

Even without bandits, the entire town was a ghost for Jin. Ryuzo knew that much. It’s why he didn’t really want Jin to come back. Let the ghosts lay, and let them stay at Castle Shimura, where things were simpler. Sweeter, even. 

It would be easier for Ryuzo to sympathize with the bandits if they’d just taken things. Not lives, or an honest woman’s innocence. Now they had to die.

Jin had killed a man, but Ryuzo never had. He wondered what it would be like, to stare a man in the face and take his life. He had asked Jin about the assassin he killed hunting a bear with Lord Shimura a few times, but Jin refused to speak of it. _Shouldn’t turn a man’s death into gossip_ , Jin said. And maybe it was true. But still Ryuzo wanted to know what it felt like, what Jin had felt when he drove the life from the man who had attacked his uncle.

Ryuzo took a deep breath. “You smell that?”

“Campfire,” Jin said. He stopped his horse, turning to face Shigesato and Yasunari. “We should leave our mounts here. I think we’re getting close.” Full evening had closed in around them, and with the thick canopy of the trees overhead, their trail was full of shadows.

Jin and Ryuzo dismounted, and Shigesato and Yasunari followed their lead. The four warriors crept through the darkness like a pack of wolves, and Ryuzo saw a glow to the east that suggested fire. He looked at Jin and caught Jin watching his face. He nodded, and Jin nodded back.

Jin’s harsh words earlier still stung, and Ryuzo knew that like any hard words Jin had every thrown at him, he would pull them back out later to nurse like an old wound, but for now there was no time to sulk. They both knew what needed to be done.

**

The glow got brighter until they could see firelight dancing in the treetops, casting crazy shadows, and they could hear voices and an occasional low peal of laughter. Jin caught Ryuzo’s eye, and Ryuzo saw Shinigami looking back at him.

 _He shouldn’t go in this wound up. He’ll do something stupid, make a mistake._ But Ryuzo had said he wouldn’t speak against Jin in front of the others, and he meant to keep his word. He saw a glimpse of Jin’s wrath earlier, so much like Kazumasa’s, and he knew it was terrible. The anger of patient people—when it finally came—always was. Not that anyone would ever accuse Kazumasa of being patient. Not like Jin. 

Ryuzo didn’t want to do anything to summon that flashing wrath again, not when their entire mission here rested on a knife’s edge.

He moved up and grabbed Jin by the shoulder, stopping him.

“What?” Jin hissed.

“Let me go first,” Ryuzo whispered. “Just in case.”

Ryuzo saw Jin’s face twist in the darkness like he meant to argue, but then he just nodded, one jerking downward movement. Ryuzo slipped past him on the trail, one hand hovering over the hilt of his sword. Behind them, Ryuzo noticed that Shigesato and Yasunari had gone as quiet as waiting cats, moving as silently as they could through the underbrush in heavy armor.

They crept closer.

“We should find another woman,” a voice from around the campfire drifted to them. “The other one wasn’t much fun once she just laid there.”

“Son of a _bitch!”_ Jin rushed past Ryuzo, and Ryuzo heard the soft deadly whicker of him pulling the Storm. It flashed like a star in the firelight as he leapt forward.

 _“Gods damn it Jin! Oi!”_ Ryuzo rushed in after him, hoping like hell they’d caught the men off guard or Jin was going to end up as a pin cushion. He ran into the circle of firelight and pulled his own sword, nothing so well-made or flashy as Storm, but it would do. Behind him he could hear Shigesato and Yasunari give their own battle howls as they charged into the camp. 

The bandits had been caught off-guard, but they weren’t drunk or stupid enough to go down without a fight, or to rest without their weapons close at hand. Within seconds Jin had locked blades with a man that seemed to Ryuzo’s fevered eye to be at least two hands taller than him and at least twice his weight.

Ryuzo dashed forward and jammed his word in the man’s lower back, twisting it with his wrist before jerking it out. The man grunted and tried to turn around to retaliate. Jin took the moment of distraction to take the man’s head from his shoulders.

 _Stealing my first kill, Jin?_

Across the fire, Shigesato and Yasunari were fighting back to back like demons. The sound of their swords sang out, throwing sparks. A few feet from them, Ryuzo saw an archer in one of those stupid pitched antler helmets drawing back an arrow in Jin’s direction. Jin was too busy fighting another man. He didn’t see it. He wouldn’t deflect it.

_“Jin!”_

Without thinking, Ryuzo threw himself between the archer and Jin. For a split-second he thought the arrow had missed him, and then he felt the bright hot burst of fire in his shoulder, saw the arrow’s shaft in his left periphery vision.

_“Ryuzo!”_

_Fuck._

_“You fuck!”_ Ryuzo snarled and launched himself at the archer, who backstepped as he tried to fumble for another arrow, flinching in the face of Ryuzo’s fury. Ryuzo cut him down, his blade getting temporarily caught on the other man’s exposed sternum. He wrenched it loose and whirled around to find Jin.

Jin was surrounded by dead men, his chest heaving in the firelight, blade glittering, face slicked with sweat, eyes black. So were Shigesato and Yasunari. Yasunari flicked the blood from his blade and resheathed it. The camp seemed very still now.

Now that the bandits were dead, Ryuzo took a deep breath and clenched his jaw, reaching down to grab the arrow shaft protruding from shoulder, close to where his arm pit met his chest. Just the pressure of his hand on the shaft drove a spike of pain through him and he let his breath out in a low growl of effort.

“Ryuzo.” Ryuzo looked up to see Jin standing before him, one hand on his shoulder, the other hand over Ryuzo’s to prevent him from pulling the arrow free. Ryuzo turned his head to see Shigesato and Yasunari watching them, their expressions camouflaged by their masks. “Anyone else hurt?”

“No,” Yasunari said. _But that was foolish,_ his tone said for him.

“Don’t take it out,” Jin said, looking back into Ryuzo’s eyes. Even though his shoulder hurt like a second throbbing heartbeat, the way Jin was looking at him with eyes filled with regret and concern for him took Ryuzo’s breath for a minute, and not with pain. “I’m sorry, Ryuzo. I saw. That was meant for me.”

“Yeah, I know,” Ryuzo said, his voice tight. He managed a weak grin. “Lucky you.”

They looked around the bandit’s camp. Some of the things that they had were obviously stolen, a mishmash of packs and supplies, even a merchant’s cart that was still half-loaded. A small chicken—obviously not belonging to the bandits themselves—was roasting over the fire, its golden skin spitting grease into the flames.

Jin whistled for their horses, the sound piercing in the gloom, seeming to echo in the trees. Under the wind, from far away, they heard the sound of hoofbeats. 

The smell of the succulent roasting bird and the fresh blood around them was suddenly too much and Ryuzo jerked away from Jin to vomit in the grass, looking down into a dead man’s face as he did it. Shigesato and Yasunari said nothing, but Ryuzo could feel the weight of their judgment on him like a brand. The throwing up racketed up the pain in his shoulder in a way that made him moan and laugh helplessly at the same time, spitting to get the sour taste out of his mouth.

“C’mon, we’ll head back to the estate,” Jin said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder as the horses cantered up obediently. He looked to the Adachi boys. “I’m going to escort Ryuzo back to get aid. Leave the goods, we’ll let the village elders know they’re here and send people to pack them up and bring them back. Get the heads though. And one of the helmets,” he added, bitterly. “I want to explain to the village elders about ‘Kazumasa’s spirit’.” 

“And the chicken,” Ryuzo said as he grimaced, pulling himself into the saddle. Jin did the same beside him.

“The chicken?” Shigesato asked.

“Yeah,” Ryuzo said. “We shouldn’t let it go to waste.”

Shigesato glanced at Jin, who nodded.

“We’ll take care of it and meet you at the Sakai estate, my lord,” Yasunari said, looking at them. “Be careful. Both of you,” he said, looking at Ryuzo and his shoulder. 

“And to you as well,” Jin said. “Keep an ear out. I doubt there are others but be on your guard.”

Yasunari nodded.

Ryuzo followed Jin’s horse out of the clearing and back in the direction of the village, and the Sakai estate beyond it. Soon the campfire was beyond them, and they were enveloped in darkness again.

“Thank you,” Jin said softly, “for saving my life.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that,” Ryuzo replied in the shadows, his jaw tense against the pain of jolting up and down in the saddle with the arrow shaft protruding from his shoulder. “Wouldn’t have had to if you hadn’t gone in like a rabid tanuki,” he added, muttering.

“I know,” Jin whispered, and Ryuzo was dismayed to hear that Jin almost sounded on the verge of tears, his voice shaky with spent adrenaline. It was impossible to tell his expression in the darkness, with Ryuzo only able to see his back.

“Ai, well,” Ryuzo said, trailing off, awkward. “I told you we would kill them all. And we did. Just don’t rush off into the thick of it like that. I was worried. Distracts me when I’m trying to kill a man. Could get a guy killed.”

“I’m sorry,” Jin said. “For that, and for earlier.”

“Forget it,” Ryuzo said. “I’d take an arrow for you any day of the week. Just try not to put me up to it.”

They rode back towards Omi as the late spring wind whispered through the trees, their path lit by green fireflies.


	9. Can't Keep Their Hands Off Each Other in Public (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin and Ryuzo return home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this basically turned into a multi-part little side arc in OTP so I'm just running with it. So yeah no surprise yet. I'm getting there. :)
> 
>  _To give me all your love is all I ever ask  
>  'Cause what you don't understand is  
> I'd catch a grenade for ya  
> Throw my hand on a blade for ya  
> I'd jump in front of a train for ya  
> You know I'd do anything for ya._ \- "Grenade", Bruno Mars

“How are you doing?”

Ryuzo let out a gasping laugh. “Ouch.”

He heard a low exhale of breath ahead of him that could have been the ghost of Jin’s returning laughter before it was gone as quickly as he heard it.

“You should have stayed at the camp and helped the Adachi boys. They’ll be disgruntled at you for making them do the dirty work,” Ryuzo said, his voice tight with pain as his horse’s trot jarred the arrow. Every instinct in him yearned to pull it out, but he knew better. Unfortunately. “Slow down.”

Jin slowed Inazuma to a walk. “I would not let you return alone,” Jin said. “Not knowing whether there might have been more of them out there.”

“So you left the two of them to fend for themselves in case there are?”

“I don’t think they even took a scratch,” Jin said.

“Lucky them.”

Instead of heading through the village, Jin skated along its western wall, heading north towards his ancestral home, the high grass whipping around the horses’ legs. The moon was high now and out of the forest it lit their way, seeming almost as bright as daylight when their eyes adjusted.

“Seriously,” Jin said. “How’s the wound?”

“Seriously, what do you expect me to say?” Ryuzo said, strained. “It hurts like a bitch. I’ve sprouted feathers like a chicken. There’s blood running from my chest all the way down into my fundoshi and my mino has a hole in it _._ A little bit to the right and I’d be choking on my own blood instead of sitting in it. Think next time you might signal the rest of us before going in like that?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Should be,” Ryuzo said. But he moved his horse up next to Jin’s, walking side by side. Silently, Jin held his left hand out between them. Ryuzo looked at it in the moonlight, seeing that there was drying blood stippled there like black ink.

He could hear his father’s voice in his mind: _Someone told me that they saw you and Jin Sakai walking hand in hand on the river path._

Ryuzo reached out with his right hand and took Jin’s, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He made Jin be the first one to let go.

**

Ryuzo was pleased to see that there was a pair of guards standing watch at the gates, even though neither man was a man he recognized. Jin did though—he raised his hand to them in greeting as they rode up.

“My lord Sakai,” one of them said, bowing low at the waist. Ryuzo saw that they were both dressed in the same burnished black plate as Kazumasa’s armor. It made him think of the cheap leather armor on the men they’d cleaved to pieces back in the woods, painted with tar pitch. Even in the darkness, he saw the eyes of the guards widen when they saw the arrow shaft protruding from his shoulder.

“We’ll have to wake Yuriko,” Jin said, dismounting and handing off Inazuma’s reins to one of the gate guards after giving him brief instructions to see both horses to the stables. “I hate to wake her this late, but it can’t be helped.”

But it turned out they didn’t have to wake Yuriko. By the time Jin and Ryuzo made their way up the front walk of the estate to the veranda, Yuriko had come out to meet them. Her hair was put up and she was dressed in a soft cadet blue yukata with herons on it, and Ryuzo couldn’t be sure whether she’d even been to bed yet.

“My Lord Sakai!” Yuriko came forward and took Jin’s hand in her own, looking from him to Ryuzo’s shoulder with worry. “What has happened?”

“Bandits,” Jin said, and Ryuzo saw him squeeze her hands comfortingly before withdrawing his. “All dead now, I hope. But Ryuzo took an arrow, I wanted to see if you could tend to him. You were always so good with medicine.”

Yuriko moved to stand in front of Ryuzo, straining to see his wound in the soft lantern light. He bowed slightly to her. “My lady.”

“I can’t see out here, it’s too dark. Bring him inside and let’s get some lanterns lit. I’ll go and get some supplies to get the arrow out.” Ryuzo winced internally at the thought, already dreading it. 

Jin and Ryuzo followed Yuriko into the house. As soon as they walked through the shoji screen, they were greeted by Kazumasa’s armor on its stand on the opposite side of the room. While Yuriko scurried to get the supplies, Ryuzo and Jin stared silently at the armor. It gleamed under the lamplight, dusted and polished and oiled, as if Yuriko expected Jin to come home and don it at any moment. Or Kazumasa himself. Ryuzo shivered.

“It’s been a long time,” Jin said, his voice soft.

“Yeah.”

Jin dropped gracefully to his knees in front of his father’s armor, bending to press his head to the tatami mats. Hesitating only for half a second, Ryuzo kneeled as well, wincing as he did, but he didn’t bow because of the arrow. He only sat there with his hands on his thighs and stared up at that armor on the stand, which had once protected villages and stopped wars and now was used to frighten peasants on the road. Ryuzo sat before it, feeling blood trickle under his clothes and down the bare skin _._

They kneeled there wordlessly, looking at the armor side by side, until Yuriko came back into the room with a cloth bag. One of the house retainers—another man whose face Ryuzo didn’t recognize, Jin came from a dark manor of them—brought a steaming bucket of hot water behind her and placed it on the floor, and a gourd with steam rising from the hole. A few clean rags were draped over the edge of the bucket. Yuriko also had the tie sash from a kimono slung over her shoulder.

Ryuzo didn’t like the look of any of it.

The retainer bowed and left, closing the screen behind him after Jin told him to stay on guard for Shigesato and Yasunari to follow.

“The arrow will have to come out first,” Yuriko said. “Before we can get the rest off.”

“I was afraid of that,” Ryuzo replied. Now that the adrenaline from the battle was beginning to wear off, the arrow was more painful, spiking jabs in time with his heartbeat. He kept his breathing as steady as he could, and he could almost feel the worry radiating off Jin.

Yuriko looked to Jin. “I think you should pull it, young master. You are stronger, more forceful than me. You must move slow and steady, but it will be quicker.”

“Me?” Jin said, looking from Ryuzo and back to Yuriko.

“Better you than Shigesato or Yasunari,” Ryuzo said. “I’d rather not wait for them to show up if it’s all the same to you.”

“Lay down, then,” Jin said, softly, and Ryuzo moved to obey.

“I’ll be right back,” Yuriko said. “We need a few pillows, keep his head and chest lifted. Keep blood at the feet.” She didn’t wait for them to answer, only slipped back through the shoji screen again. Leaving them alone.

Ryuzo laid the back of his head against the mats and stared at the ceiling. Jin moved to sit at his left side, at an angle to his wounded shoulder. Jin reached over and brushed the hair out of Ryuzo’s face where it was sticking to the pain sweat at his temple.

“You risked your life for me,” Jin whispered.

“I love you,” Ryuzo said, closing his eyes under Jin’s touch and keeping his voice low. “I told you already.” He reached up his left hand and Jin took it. “Stop making me have to prove it so violently, yeah?”

Jin cradled Ryuzo’s hand and lowered his forehead to Ryuzo’s bloodied knuckles in a way that made Ryuzo blush, even though moving his arm even a little bit in any direction hurt.

 _You never say it back, Jin. Why?_ But Ryuzo realized even as he thought it that it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the way Jin held his hand like it was the most precious thing in the world, the way Jin bowed to it, reverent. Jin loved him. He knew it. That was enough.

Yuriko came back into the room with the buckwheat hull pillows to prop up behind Ryuzo’s back, and Ryuzo thought that Jin would drop his hand when she came him, but he didn’t. Instead, Jin used it to help pull Ryuzo into a position where he could sit up.

Yuriko handed the kimono sash to Jin, who looked at it and then up at her, his face a question.

“For biting,” she said.

“Oi, great,” Ryuzo said.

Jin folded the sash up several times until it was soft and thick, then held it up. Ryuzo opened his mouth, locking eyes with Jin when he did it, and Jin pressed the folded sash into his mouth. Ryuzo clenched his jaw against it.

“Are you ready?” Jin asked, placing his hands on the arrow shaft.

Ryuzo closed his eyes and gritted his teeth through the silk. He nodded.

Jin pulled the arrow. It took everything in Ryuzo’s considerable power not to cry out around the kimono sash in his mouth or to pound the tatami mat with the palm of his hand in helpless agony. But it seemed like as soon as it had begun, it was already over. The arrow was out, broadhead and all. Ryuzo breathed out harshly, resting his chin on his chest, feeling fresh blood trickling from his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Jin whispered, moving to help him get his ruined mino and kimono off. Ryuzo didn’t unclench his jaw, didn’t trust himself to speak. Ryuzo could feel Yuriko’s eyes on them and looked up at her as Jin moved to loosen Ryuzo’s hakama and pull his kimono off, leaving him bare-chested and bloodied in the lamplight.

Yuriko made Jin switch sides with her so that she was sitting on Ryuzo’s left, so she could inspect the torn flesh of his shoulder with freshly washed hands. Ryuzo’s face twitched when she spread the edges of the wound to check inside it, but he didn’t cry out. She seemed satisfied with what she found.

“It looks clean,” Yuriko said. She dipped one of the cloths in the steaming water and began gently bathing the area, looking at Jin. “I am happy to see you again, Jin. I knew you were coming, but I had thought you would come here before going into battle.”

“When we heard how bad it was in the village, I didn’t want to wait,” Jin replied. “Thank you for helping us, Yuriko.”

“I live to serve the Sakai clan,” she replied amiably, squeezing the bloodied rag out in the bucket of hot water before dipping it again. She wet each area to rinse it before taking a dry rag and wiping away any remaining water. Slowly under her ministrations, Ryuzo’s shoulder and chest came clean, though fresh blood still welled at the wound.

“Pour that hot sake over those shorter pieces,” Yuriko said to Jin, and he moved to obey her, tipping the gourd over the packing and over the bucket, so it wouldn’t spill. He passed them to Yuriko when he was done.

“This will hurt, young man,” she said, and unceremoniously shoved the wadded cloth soaked in boiled sake into the arrow wound.

This time Ryuzo couldn’t help crying out behind the kimono sash and slapping the tatami mat beside him, involuntary tears of pain springing to his closed eyes. He felt Jin’s hand on his right arm, distantly comforting.

“I’m sorry, I know it hurts,” Yuriko said, but did not slow as she pressed more sake-soaked cloth over the spot like a compress after squeezing out the excess boiled wine, leaving it only slightly damp. Once she had it in place, she began winding bandages around his arm and over the shoulder. Limp and sweating, Ryuzo let her. When she was done and moved back from him, wiping her hands, he leaned back against the pillows and reached up to pull the sash from his mouth.

“If I had known that was sake in the gourd, I could have used some before you started that,” Ryuzo said.

“Sake thins the blood. Not good for a wound,” Yuriko said. “You need water. We can change the dressing and make a proper poultice in the morning.”

“Change it?” Ryuzo replied weakly.

“You’ll need to change it daily for a few days,” she said, then glanced at Jin. “Probably best to rest here for a week or two. We can send a courier to Castle Shimura to let your uncle know.”

“Yes, that’s wise,” Jin said, looking at Ryuzo’s pale face when he did. He looked towards the front gate. “I wonder when the others will be back.”

“We are not going to wait until they get here for our victory drinks,” Ryuzo said, his voice half a moan.

“Water,” Yuriko reminded him.

“My lady,” Ryuzo said. “Have a heart. My shoulder is on fire.”

Yuriko shook her head but moved to the kitchen to get cups and a gourd of water anyway after Jin nodded at her.

“Your steward is trying to torture me,” Ryuzo whispered as soon as she’d left the room again.

“She’s trying to take care of you, you ass,” Jin replied softly, reaching down to cup Ryuzo’s jaw with his hand, rubbing one thumb across his cheek in a way that made Ryuzo close his eyes and lean into the soothing touch despite himself. “Aren’t you thirsty for water?”

“I am hungry for chicken and thirsty for sake,” Ryuzo grumbled.

“I can’t believe that you could even think about eating in a time like this,” Jin said, shaking his head a little.

“What? We haven’t eaten since dawn except for that tea at the _ochaya_ , it’s the middle of the night. I’m going to starve to death.”

“Dramatic,” Jin said, but stroked Ryuzo’s forehead with his fingertips gently. He only pulled his hand away when the shoji screen slid open again.

“It’s water,” Yuriko said, looking at Ryuzo with her eyebrows raised as she sat the gourd and cups down between them. “If you want sake just take it from the other. Not too much,” she added.

“Yes, Yuriko, I promise,” Jin said. “Thank you.”

She bowed to him at the waist. “I’ll go and make the beds up.” She slipped back out of the room.

Jin passed the gourd of water to Ryuzo and he took a deep draw of it before pouring a little in his hand and splashing his face with it. He reached over and grabbed a dry cloth to wipe his face dry before passing the gourd back for Jin to drink. Jin set it down and went about pouring out some sake into the cups.

“Thank the gods,” Ryuzo said as Jin passed him one, then looked over at the set of armor on the stand and raised his cup before turning his eyes to Jin’s.

“To Kazumasa’s ghost.”

**

Shigesato and Yasunari were back within another hour, by which time Ryuzo was halfway on his way to being well and truly drunk. Jin thought he was doing well enough just to keep as many swallows of water in him as he drank of sake.

The other two warriors left the bags of heads they’d collected at the stable, to be taken to the village elders the next morning. They looked bloody and tired when they came into the main room to find Jin and Ryuzo drinking.

“We brought your chicken,” Shigesato said to Ryuzo, his voice flat. But he set down a grease-stained _furoshiki_ beside them before both men got on their knees and bowed to Jin.

“You must be tired,” Jin said. “Please, take a hot bath down the hall to the right. Yuriko will get you some fresh clothes to sleep in too.” 

“Thank you, Lord Sakai,” Yasunari said, lifting his head to sit up. “It looks like you got the arrow straightened out at least.”

“Yeah, you guys missed a party there,” Ryuzo said. “Loads of fun.”

“We were cutting the heads off defeated men,” Shigesato said. “A little too busy to play nursemaid.” Yasunari shot him a sharp look.

“We’ll take them to the village elders tomorrow,” Jin replied, his voice quiet. “Explain what happened to them, and that we believe the danger is past. I don’t think the villagers will be bothered again.”

“If they are, Kazumasa’s son will cut them down,” Ryuzo said. Jin scowled at him before turning back to Yasunari. “Were there any signs of others?”

Yasunari shook his head. “None came. None that dared to show their faces, anyway. Even if they do, I don’t think that they’ll be playing ghost anymore when they see that camp. After we meet with the village elders in the morning, me and Shigesato will return to the south.” He stood. “I’m going to go take advantage of the bath since you’re so hospitable, my lord. Feel free to eat without me.” He bowed again.

No sooner than the words were said, Ryuzo sat up and began unwrapping the bundle beside him. Jin shook his head again, but he was smiling.

Ryuzo pulled off a chicken leg and then pushed the bundle towards Jin before jamming it in his mouth. Jin held the rest of the chicken carcass out to Shigesato, who just waved it off.

“I just carried the heads of eight men through the woods and I stink of blood. I have no appetite, my lord.”

Jin sat the chicken down and then grabbed the gourd of sake instead. “How about a drink?”

Shigesato smiled a little. “Now that I will accept.”

“Bad move on the chicken,” Ryuzo said around a full mouth. “It tastes like victory.”


	10. Surprises (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuzo finally gets to give Jin his surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: This chapter is rated E for Explicit and sets the rating. Here there be smut.
> 
> _Killing me slowly, holding me close  
>  Begging for mercy, forgiving the ghost  
> Say that you love me, lay me to waste  
> We've build a fire and you put out the flames_
> 
>  _The safety is broken, intentions are numb  
>  Whispers and daggers, we're losing our tongue  
> Tracing the stitches, searching for grace  
> Say that you love me but you're fading to gray._ \- Bishop Briggs, "Hi-Lo"

The next morning, Shigesato and Yasunari were as good as their word. Jin heard them stirring early and got up to join them for breakfast and tea, making sure that they were well-stocked for the road back home. Shigesato carried the two bags of bandit heads on either side of his horse, which stomped and flattened its ears at the smell, eyes rolling.

When at last they were ready to leave, Jin met them in the courtyard by their horses. Yasunari bowed to his lord.

“It was an honor to fight beside you, Lord Sakai,” he said. “I’m only sorry that Ryuzo was hurt. At least he wasn’t hurt badly.”

Jin smiled a little. Ever since they were young, he Yasunari had always referred to Ryuzo as “your friend” when speaking to Jin. The fact that he called Ryuzo by his name was a greater token of grudging affection than Ryuzo himself could ever appreciate. But Jin did.

“He’ll recover,” Jin said. “He’s tough.”

“He held his own well enough,” Shigesato said, mounting his horse.

After they left through the estate gates, Jin raising his hand to them in farewell, he turned back into the house, heading to his quarters. Ryuzo was still sprawled in the bedding, a black shock of disheveled hair poking up from beneath the blankets. One arm extended from the pile of bedding palm up. Jin could hear soft, muffled snoring.

Ryuzo looked so peaceful that Jin just wanted to climb into bed with him. And since it was his house, he did. He raised up the edge of the blanket and slid onto the futon beside Ryuzo, feeling the trapped heat of his body under the blankets. Ryuzo sighed, half awake, and slid over closer to him, buying his face against the back of Jin’s neck and blowing a breath through his nose, tickling the hairs there. His arm came around Jin’s waist, hidden from view, and Jin closed his eyes as he felt Ryuzo’s palm come up to rest against his chest, as if marking his heartbeat there.

“They gone?” he breathed, a dozy grumble.

“Yes,” Jin said.

Ryuzo drew him closer, and Jin felt a shiver run through him as Ryuzo’s lips moved against the back of his neck, a word he could feel as much as hear.

“Good.”

**

Ryuzo recovered quickly under Yuriko’s care, and to Jin’s surprise he didn’t even put up much of a fuss when she insisted on removing the bloodied packing in the open arrow wound each day, sterilizing it, and wrapping it again. Jin did notice that he made sure to be well lubricated with sake any time she warned that she was going to perform this operation. But the wound was healing well, and after drinking some of Yuriko’s pain-killing tea, Ryuzo didn’t even complain about it all that much.

For the next few days they simply sat around the estate catching up with Yuriko, allowing her to cook all the favorites of Jin’s from childhood that she wanted to make him—Ryuzo was more than happy to eat his share of and then some.

Eventually Ryuzo felt well enough to mount up and head down to the village. When Jin made to join him, he shook his head.

“Not this time.”

“Why?”

“It’s a surprise, I told you.” Ryuzo mounted up and looked down at Jin where he stood looking up at him, arms crossed over his chest.

“I thought you’d given that up,” Jin said. “You hadn’t mentioned it.”

“Taking an arrow was a bit of a distraction,” Ryuzo said. “But I haven’t forgotten. I’ll return in a few hours. Keep your old nursemaid happy while I’m gone.”

Before Jin could argue further, Ryuzo kicked his horse into a gallop across the courtyard and down the road, kicking up fallen flower blossoms in his wake. Jin watched him go a moment, then shook his head and turned to go back inside.

**

Ryuzo didn’t return until evening fell, and the stars came out. Jin had half thought that he intended to stay in the village for the night. But he swept back into the estate all business, as if he had been gone for ten minutes and not for hours.

“Come on,” he said. “Mount up. It’s time.”

Jin was partially exasperated by all the mystery, but he couldn’t help but admit to himself that he was starting to get a little curious, too. He followed Ryuzo out to the stables.

“You’re not ready to tell me what it is we’re doing yet?” Jin said.

“Of course not,” Ryuzo said. “That would spoil the fun.”

Jin rolled his eyes behind Ryuzo’s back but said nothing as he mounted up after him and took off down the road to Omi Village at his side.

The village was still surprisingly lively even at night, and colorful lanterns danced everywhere in the soft evening breeze. They came to the entrance of the _ochaya,_ and Jin looked over at Ryuzo suspiciously as he got down and paid one of the house boys to take their horses and water them. “This is the surprise?”

“You’ve never had a woman,” Ryuzo said after the boy led their horses away, keeping his voice low. “You told me so yourself.”

Jin blushed at the memory of exactly when he had told that to Ryuzo, right after Ryuzo had undressed him for the first (and so far, the only) time. The memory of what came next, Ryuzo’s sword-callused hand on his cock, sent a shiver down his spine. He blinked in surprise before answering without meeting Ryuzo’s gaze.

“I told you that in confidence,” Jin said.

“And I haven’t told anyone,” Ryuzo replied calmly as they walked into the tea house. “So don’t ruffle your feathers about it. But since you’ve never had the pleasure, I found you one.”

Jin stopped cold where they were walking through the low tables towards the back of the tea house. “What?”

“You’ll see,” Ryuzo said. He met the eyes of the tea house owner and nodded his head slightly. She nodded back and headed towards the back of the tea house.

“What was that?” Jin said, his voice full of suspicion.

“You’ll see.”

At a loss, Jin followed Ryuzo down the stairs of the _ochaya,_ into the basement level. The corridor was separated into several rooms separated by shoji screens. Jin expected to hear noise from behind some of the doors, but the basement floor of rooms was eerily quiet.

 _This is a ryotei,_ Jin thought.

“Don’t worry,” Ryuzo said, as if reading his mind. “I spoke with the tea house owner. No one else will be down here tonight except for us. And our special guest. I thought you might be shy about it.” He walked into one of the rooms and left the shoji screen ajar. Jin followed him in.

The corners of the room were filled with andon lamps that lit it with a muted golden glow. Soft padded futons were arranged in a large square at one end of the room, and an irori hearth heated the room from the forward end. The two sections were separated by a long low table, obviously meant for entertaining. Ryuzo walked into the room as if he owned the place and flounced down on the cushions over the tatami mats.

“Ryuzo.”

Ryuzo looked up at Jin at the way Jin said his name. His brow furrowed slightly. “What? Don’t you want a woman?”

 _I want you,_ Jin thought, but couldn’t bring himself to say it.

Jin only stood there, looking at him. Finally, Ryuzo sighed and patted the futon beside him. Reluctantly, Jin walked over and sat down next to him, cross-legged.

“What’s wrong, Jin?” Ryuzo whispered. “I thought this would be fun, and you look like I’m dragging you to your execution.” He tried to keep his words light, but Jin could hear the hurt wanting to rise up just behind the joke.

“I…you want me to sleep with someone else?” Jin asked.

“I thought you’d want to,” Ryuzo answered, sincere. “I thought it would be fun. Don’t you want to lay with a woman?”

“You’ve done it?” Jin asked, and he couldn’t help but feel a small surge of jealousy. Ryuzo must have seen something of it cross his face, because he leaned in and said, “Not since I’ve been with you.” He put his hand on Jin’s wrist and slipped his thumb beneath it possessively. “But I _have_ been with one. Don’t you want to know what it’s like, at least?”

“Yes, but…” Jin couldn’t find the words to tell Ryuzo why the thought of sleeping with a woman bothered him. It wasn’t the idea itself, just what it reminded him of—the knowledge that he would eventually have to marry. He would have to lie with a woman whether he wanted to do it or not.

“Do you find them beautiful?” Ryuzo asked, curious.

“Some of them,” Jin admitted quietly. “Not all.”

Ryuzo snorted. “Well nobody finds _everyone_ beautiful.” He flicked his gaze at the doorway, then reached up with his hand and placed it on Jin’s jaw, turning Jin’s head to face him so their eyes could meet. “If you don’t want this, just say so. We won’t mention it again. I just thought you might like it.”

“And what about you?” Jin asked, softly.

“Whatever you want,” Ryuzo said, tilting his head slightly downward as he looked at Jin through dark eyes. “I can leave. I can watch. We can take her together. We can take her one at a time. It’s your call. I’m at your command.” At any other time, Jin might have checked Ryuzo’s tone to see if he was being mocked. As it was, Ryuzo’s face was perfectly serious for a change.

Jin felt a hot wave rush over him as he couldn’t help his mind from conjuring images of the lewd things Ryuzo was suggesting.

“I want you here,” he said.

“Good,” Ryuzo said warmly. “Because I was going to be upset if you ordered me to leave.”

Before he could say anything more, the tea house owner appeared at the threshold of the room. “My lords,” she said, bowing deeply. “I have brought you a guest to help keep you company this evening. She has journeyed here all the way from Yoshiwara. Her name is Suzuko.”

A woman stepped into the room from the hallway, and Jin could not help but lose his breath. He had never seen a courtesan. He’d never left Tsushima or been among grand enough company to be graced with one. She wore a black silk kimono sprayed with ornate cherry blossoms. Her face and graceful neck were painted white, her lips were stained as red as a cherry, and her eyes were lined with black like a fox. Her hair was pulled back with pins adorned with mother of pearl and onyx jewels. She moved like a barn cat, too feral to come close, but her smile was warm, and she looked into Jin’s eyes as if they already shared a secret.

“I’m Ryuzo, and this is Lord Sakai,” Ryuzo said. The courtesan bowed to them both.

“My lords. I’m pleased to meet you,” Suzuko said graciously, bowing to them. “Would you like me to bring sake or tea? Or both?”

Ryuzo looked at Jin, and Jin shrugged. “Uh…a little of both, I think?”

“Very good, Lord Sakai. I will bring it to you, and some snacks as well. Then we can sit down and get to know each other better.” The tea house owner and the courtesan left to get their refreshments, and Ryuzo turned to Jin as soon as they heard the footsteps of the women on the stairs towards the tea house kitchen.

“Surprised?” Ryuzo said.

“How did you arrange this?” Jin said, his voice husky.

“It wasn’t as difficult as you might think,” Ryuzo replied, though he sounded pleased with himself. “The courtesan was already visiting and the whole village is buzzing over Lord Sakai storming back into the prefecture and rousting the forest of bandits like some hero in a children’s story. The tea house owner wondered aloud if there was anything they could do to repay you, and I may have put a little bird in her ear.”

“You said you didn’t tell anyone.”

“I didn’t,” Ryuzo said, keeping his tone soft, smoothing down Jin’s sleeve with a soothing motion. “But I may have made some insinuations about your innocence in such matters. The tea house owner is a wise woman, she reads between the lines well enough. She’s been doing this kind of thing a long time. She knew just the sort of gift you deserve. Everything is paid for. I put in some of my own _yen_ too, by the way, so you could be gracious,” Ryuzo added, elbowing him gently and then wincing as the movement jarred his arrow-torn shoulder.

Jin wondered how much of Ryuzo’s money he had put up for the surprise. He wondered how long it had taken Ryuzo to save it up, and that made him feel a little guilty for acting affronted. It was only a woman, after all. Maybe the most beautiful woman he had ever set eyes on in his life, but still… surely she couldn’t be so different than any other he’d known. The way she moved reminded him of his mother, drifting through the room like a tendril of smoke.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want,” Ryuzo whispered again, his eyes searching Jin’s face, his flushed cheeks as his eyes sought out an interesting part of the floor. “We can just drink some sake, have some laughs. Tell some war stories. I’m sure the woman wouldn’t mind.” 

Jin was torn. She was lovely—unbearably so, almost, like a _wagashi_ that is so perfectly decorated you don’t even want to eat it—but at the same time the thought of having sex with her in front of Ryuzo was…odd.

“What do you want?” Jin asked finally, raising his gaze to meet Ryuzo’s shyly. “You arranged all this.”  
  
“To see you in pleasure,” Ryuzo answered, his eyes hooded as he leaned back on his elbows on the tatami mats, as if inviting Jin to lean over him. “Maybe I want you to always think back to the first time you had a woman and think of me.”

“And why would you want that?”

“You know,” Ryuzo said. He blinked, smiling lazily.

Jin let out a huff of breath through his nose and shook his head, smiling despite himself.

“I knew we could have privacy here, when she’s gone,” Ryuzo said. “Without having to worry about prying eyes. Maybe after your gift, I’ll want you all to myself.” His tone was still joking, but Jin could hear a warm promise running underneath it.

“Now that sounds like the Ryuzo I know,” Jin said. But he could feel the hot blood in his cheeks and knew that Ryuzo could see him blushing even in the dim light.

They didn’t have any more time to talk about it, because the shoji screen slid open with a quiet whisper and the courtesan Suzuko came back in. She carried the makings for tea and cups for sake and a large gourd. She also brought a tray of _wagashi_ , as brilliantly molded as anything out of the capital. Jin was impressed despite himself.

“The mistress of the house wanted you to know that these are complementary,” Suzuko said after serving out tea, every small movement refined to a painter’s brush stroke. “For your protection of the village. I heard you were both very brave. And those heads!” She gave a theatrical shudder as she sat down with her own cup.

“Yes, well… carrying all those bodies out of the woods would have taken more trips,” Ryuzo said.

 _What kind of stories are they telling?_ Jin knew that Yasunari and Shigesato bringing the severed heads of the bandits to Omi Village would cause a stir, but he didn’t want any wild rumors running around. His father almost had a demon’s reputation by the time of his death, at least among the peasantry. That was why using him as a ghost against them was so effective.

Jin felt his mood wanting to sour at the thought of Kazumasa and the bandits. As cavalier as Ryuzo was acting now, seeing him with an arrow sticking out of his front scared Jin badly, and he hadn’t forgotten it. Every wince that Ryuzo felt and hid with a grimacing smile or by holding his breath, Jin was reminded of how close Ryuzo had come to death.

And how it was Jin’s fault.

 _I almost cost him his life, and he buys me a concubine,_ Jin thought darkly.

Ryuzo must have seen something in his face because he said, “Oi! Jin! Aren’t you listening to my story?”

Jin shook himself back to reality and gave a perfunctory smile, one that he had perfected over years of having to rule over the people, even as a child. “Yes, sorry. My mind wandered.”

“I’m boring him,” Ryuzo said to Suzuko, whose giggling laugh in return made Jin think of a songbird. “He tires of my company, you know. That’s why I thought maybe you could cheer him up.” Ryuzo had the irritating and somehow endearing habit of making everything he said sound dirty, like a private joke. Jin swallowed, embarrassed at the implication in his words. 

“I think we will see what we can do,” Suzuko said, smiling over at Jin before sipping her matcha.

“I don’t need cheering,” Jin said. “I’m perfectly happy to be serious.”

“Yes, but we’re happier when you’re cheerful. Aren’t we Suzuko?”

“Yes, we would see you smile, my lord,” Suzuko said.

Jin found himself smiling just to oblige them.

Ryuzo and the girl continued to chatter, making talk about small things like the weather or stories from childhood, with Jin putting in a point here or there. After they drank a cup of tea, they switched to good sake, river-chilled.

Suzuko wanted to know all about the attack on the bandits and Jin was content to sit back with her and watch Ryuzo tell the tale, sneaking glances over at the courtesan occasionally as he reenacted their mission and his own injury dramatically. Jin felt the sake loosening him up, bringing a happy blur over everything, driving away thoughts of the fight before. Even though it was cool, it warmed the insides of him as it slid down his throat.

She was leaning close enough in to him that he could feel the heat of her body through her kimono, looking almost as if she longed to put her head on his shoulder as they watched Ryuzo act out the story. Ryuzo was telling about the helmets, spreading his hands out to either side of his head like antlers, when Suzuko took one of Jin’s hands.

“Your fingers are callused from fighting, Lord Sakai,” Suzuko said, running her own fingers in exploration over them. Jin somehow got the impression that it was _he_ who was being courted, and he broke her gaze to find Ryuzo watching them.

“Yours are soft,” Jin replied, somewhat at a loss. He could smell her perfume, something with citrus and jasmine in it. “In any case, I haven’t done all that much fighting. It’s mostly from practice.”

“You must practice on your own an awful lot, then,” Suzuko said sweetly, and Ryuzo made a huffing sound like a laugh before tossing back his sake. “You should rub clove oil into your fingers, Lord Sakai. I play the _shamisen_ so my fingers would be as callused as yours if I didn’t take care of them. I will give you some,” she added, shooting a look over at Ryuzo. She glided to her feet. “Hold on.”

She left the room and Ryuzo sat down, reaching over to pour them fresh cups of sake.

“How do you like her?” Ryuzo asked, keeping his voice down.

“She’s beautiful,” Jin said.

“She wants you,” Ryuzo said, and something about the tone of his voice made Jin pause with the sake cup halfway to his mouth. Jin cocked his head at Ryuzo slightly.

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” Jin asked.

Ryuzo laughed him off. “Of course. She wouldn’t be much good to me if she didn’t.”

Suzuko came back into the room, a small bottle in one hand and the neck of her _shamisen_ in the other. She pressed the bottle into Jin’s hand as she sat down, smiling. “For you, my lord. A gift. And I brought my _shamisen_ to sing for you while you drink.” She got up and closed the shoji screen behind her with one finger before kneeling against next to him.

“I feel bad,” Jin said, rolling the bottle in his hands. “It was my understanding that it is my responsibility to give you a gift, and not the other way around.” He glanced over at Ryuzo, whose eyes were on the bottle he held.

“You cannot help that you were surprised,” Suzuko said, shrugging delicately. “In any case, there is still a gift you might give me before the night is over.”

“And what gift is that?”

“A kiss,” Suzuko said. “If my songs please you.”

“A kiss,” Jin said. “That’s all?”

“And whatever other gifts my lord wishes to give,” Suzuko replied, all innocence, and Ryuzo laughed heartily.

“Oh you,” he said. “I _like_ you.”

“And what about you, my lord? Did you bring me a gift?” Suzuko said, turning her head to him. To Jin it exposed the perfect white line of her neck. Her face and neck were covered in white paint, but her hands were bare.

The rest of her body was cloaked in the black gleaming silk. He wanted to reach out and touch it, to run his hands along it and see if it was as soft as it looked. He found himself wondering whether the skin of the rest of her body was as pale as her hands, even without the paint. The courtesan shone in the lamplight, black eyes glittering with easy mirth.

“Of course,” Ryuzo said. “I brought you Lord Sakai.” He gestured grandly at the samurai next to him. “Do you like it?”

“I will have to wait to unwrap my gift later,” Suzuko replied. “I would like to sing for you first.” She kneeled with the instrument across her lap and began strumming it with a wooden paddle, the sound of the strings resonating through the room. Jin drank his sake, looking across the room at Ryuzo.

Suzuko began to sing, her voice undulating with the sound of the _shamisen._ Ryuzo reached over and grabbed a _wagashi_ from the plate, and Jin found himself focusing on the nape of Ryuzo’s neck, the small hairs there. Ryuzo caught him staring and grinned knowingly.

 _Ah, I’m drunk,_ Jin thought. He shook his head a little and sipped more sake. Part of him wanted to make the girl lay down her instrument against the wall and press her down into the tatami mat, the same way Ryuzo had that one night in the storm. Another part of him wanted to keep drinking until he fell asleep in his cups and he didn’t have to worry about any of this in the morning.

The mournful notes of the instrument along with the singing and the liquor should have made him tired, but it didn’t. Ryuzo wasn’t tired either, Jin saw—even though Ryuzo had stretched out on his side facing them, sprawling along the edge of the irori hearth like a resting predator, Jin sensed a tenseness in him, a low thrumming anxiety that mirrored his own. Or maybe it was just anticipation? He couldn’t be sure.

It wasn’t Ryuzo’s first woman. It wasn’t even the first one he’d ever paid for, as far as Jin could tell. What did he have to be nervous about?

She went through a few songs, then sat the _shamisen_ aside as Jin and Ryuzo applauded her. She served them all fresh drinks and Ryuzo toasted her performance loudly and at length, then moved on to praising her beauty and grace until she blushed.

“Were my songs worthy of a kiss?” Suzuko asked, coy.

“Oi, Jin, you’ll hurt her feelings!” Ryuzo warned. “She asked you for a boon, you’re the prince of this island. What kind of lord would you be to refuse her?”

Swallowing, Jin leaned in and pressed his lips chastely to hers, reaching up his hand to cradle her jaw gently, so as not to smear her makeup. Her lips were as soft as a kitten.

Suzuko leaned back, smiling. “A very sweet kiss. May I give my lord one in return?”

“Yes,” Jin said, his heart pounding.

She leaned in, pressing her lips to his jaw before moving them down to his throat, placing them over the spot where his life’s blood ran. He shuddered and looked over her head to see Ryuzo watching them. His breath caught when he saw Ryuzo lightly palming himself through his hakama.

Suzuko leaned back, looking into Jin’s face. “And how did you like my kisses, my lord?”

Jin only nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

“No kisses for me,” Ryuzo said sadly, making Suzuko laugh. She dragged him gently over her lap by his collar and cradled his head, kissing him on the lips. Ryuzo was the one who deepened the kiss, and Jin found himself growing hard as he remember what it was like to have Ryuzo’s tongue in his mouth, pressing insistently against his lips until his mouth slanted and opened, stealing his breath.

“Are you satisfied, my lord?” she said once they broke for breath.

“I’m feeling a little less left out,” Ryuzo said. He shifted his eyes to Jin’s and Jin saw that Ryuzo was hard now, the line of his cock pressing against the fabric of his hakama. Ryuzo’s gaze ran possessively down Jin’s body and Jin flushed, knowing that Ryuzo saw he was aroused too. “You know, there are sweeter spots on him to kiss than his neck.”

“And just how would you know that?” Suzuko said.

“I can show you where,” Ryuzo replied.

Jin looked from the courtesan to the peasant, feeling like both were dogs eying him like a particularly good butcher’s bone to fight over. Ryuzo took one hand and pushed at him, sprawling Jin across the futon, and Jin let him. Suzuko clapped her hands, laughing.

Ryuzo leaned in until he was close enough that Jin could smell the sweet sake on his breath as his hands fumbled for the ties on his hakama, pulling the silk of his kimono out of it until it was loose and flapping, exposing the skin of his chest and belly. He jerked as Ryuzo’s warm fingers traced a line between his nipples, hovering over a bruise without pressing down.

“Now see this spot is no good, you don’t want to hurt Lord Sakai,” Ryuzo said in a serious manner, as if he was lecturing Suzuko, who watched on with shining eyes, grinning. “But here…” He ran his fingers lower, dipping them into Jin’s belly button and making him jerk before twirling them a little in the line of dark hair between his hipbones. “Here is a much better spot.”

“Ah, I see,” Suzuko said in her bell-like voice, just as serious. 

“You seem like you’re feeling better,” Jin said to Ryuzo dryly, and Suzuko giggled at him, leaning in on the opposite side of where Ryuzo had begun to undress him. Jin’s mouth opened in half a gasp as she leaned down and he felt her lips press down over his hipbone, dangerously close to the spot where Ryuzo’s fingers were, and Ryuzo leaned in to take advantage, kissing him roughly and drawing a low sound out of Jin’s throat.

This was nothing compared to the sound that came out of him when he felt Suzuko peel down the hakama until his cock sprang up from the top of it, twitching and wet. Jin whimpered into Ryuzo’s mouth as he felt her hand reach out and one perfect finger run across the bottom of his length, dragging at the oozing cap slightly.

“What about this spot, Ryuzo?” Suzuko said innocently. “Is it sweet?”

Ryuzo broke from kissing Jin to look down at where Suzuko was playing with Jin’s cock, testing the feel of it in her soft palm, and his voice was husky with desire. “I don’t know, I haven’t had the chance to taste it,” he said. “You’ll have to tell me yourself.”

Almost before Jin could process what he heard, he felt Suzuko’s lips wrap around the head of his cock and felt the wet heat of her mouth envelop him, and he lost the ability to form a conscious thought. He arched his back and pressed the back of his head to the futon padding, crying out despite himself, closing his eyes, not caring if anyone heard even if they did have the entire basement of the place to themselves. He didn’t know what to do with his hands—he didn’t want to mess up her hair, even though the lust in him screamed to bury his hands in her hair and use her mouth. He settled for clawing at the futon padding, gripping it for dear life. Jin heard someone making a wordless, panting animal noise, in rhythm with her movements, and then he realized it was him.

The sound Suzuko made as she bobbed her mouth over him was obscene. Through his closed eyelids he saw a shadow as Ryuzo leaned over him, and he heard Ryuzo’s warm voice at his ear.

“Would you like me to do this for you?” Ryuzo said, his words low and almost savage. The mental image alone was enough to bring Jin dangerously close to the edge, his hips stuttering. Suzuko pressed his hip down to the futon and held him at the base for a moment, stroking his belly until he calmed down. After a moment, when Jin had composed himself, she released him, and he almost cried out at the loss of contact.

“Do you want me, my lord?” Suzuko whispered.

“Yes, yes,” Jin said deliriously. _Anything. Please. Just don’t stop._

Suzuko brought her hands to the bow of her _manaita_ style obi, letting it loosen. She gestured for him to sit up, and when he did, she straddled his lap, the loose black silk puddling over them. Jin’s hands roamed restlessly at the collar of her kimono, pulling it down to expose the line between the white paint of her neck and the bare skin of her shoulder, which he mouthed, panting against her skin.

She shifted on his lap a little, reaching between them, and then suddenly he was pressed against her slick, hot entrance. She canted her hips forward and sank down on him until they were pressed hip to hip, and he bit down lightly at her shoulder involuntarily at the sensation, a strangled cry in his throat, his other arm pulling her close to him out of instinct.

Suzuko lifted herself off him slightly, just enough to pull him out a few inches, and then sank back down. At first Jin let her control the rhythm, but as he got more and more into it, he felt his hips pushing up of their own accord, meeting her downward thrusts. She whispered encouragement to him, and Jin watched Ryuzo over her bared shoulder. Ryuzo’s hand was in the waist his hakama and he watched Jin back, his hand moving under the cloth as he stroked himself.

The courtesan took Jin’s hand and slipped it into the collar of her kimono. She placed it at her breast, and he kneaded it, rubbing his thumb across her nipple as he thrust up into her.

It felt like an eternity that they rocked together before Jin felt his release draw in again. This time he chased it, his thrusts becoming less measured, and she urged him on, gasping prettily and dragging her nails into the back of his neck in a small pain that sharpened pleasure. Jin had closed his eyes, lost in the surreal hot, wet point where their bodies were joined beneath so many layers of silk, but when he opened them he caught Ryuzo staring at him with an expression that was closer to jealousy than lust.

Ryuzo wanted him. And Ryuzo didn’t want anyone else to have him.

That thought was enough to drive Jin over the brink and he snapped his hips up into Suzuko’s, emptying himself into her as he reeled with a pleasure that was so strong it was almost too much. She withdrew, and the feel of her sliding over his over-sensitized skin made him let out a small groan. He laid back on the futon again, throwing an arm over his face. 

There was a basin of water with a few clean rags through over the side of it set discreetly in a corner, and Suzuko rose to move to it now. She dipped one of the rags into the water and cleaned herself beneath the kimono, managing to make the movements almost erotic even though they were practical. She dipped the rag, wrung it out, then dipped it again, wrung it out. She brought it over and kneeled, running it over Jin’s hips, belly, and softening cock.

“How was it, my lord?” Suzuko asked.

“Wonderful. You were wonderful,” Jin said, not sure what other word would suit. His voice sounded weakened, breathy, even to his own ears. He felt as though he might melt into a puddle and slide across the floor like a spilled cup of sake.

“I think you have worn our poor Lord Sakai out,” Ryuzo said, looking at Suzuko. “It may be time for me to tuck him in for the evening. You can tell the lady of the house that we’ll sleep here.”

“Of course.” Suzuko rose, all business but for the fresh wild roses in her cheeks. Jin looked up at her and saw that the stain at her lips had not even smeared. She bowed to them, then took the _shamisen_ in hand. “I thank you for the company, my lords.”

“And yours,” Jin said, his voice almost a gasp.

Suzuko left the room, leaving only her citrus perfume behind like a ghost. As soon as she was gone and her light footsteps moved down the hallway, Ryuzo moved over to where Jin was lying, his movements somewhat stiff from his injury. He laid down next to Jin on the futon and turned Jin’s head, kissing him languidly, not feeling the need to talk for a moment. When Ryuzo pressed closer, Jin felt him still hard, poking Jin’s hip. Licking at Ryuzo’s lips, he let his hand slide beneath the front waist of Ryuzo’s hakama to find the hot flesh underneath the cloth.

“Ah,” Ryuzo breathed against his lips. “You don’t seem so worn out after all.”

Jin was made bold by the pleasure still singing in his blood and he stroked Ryuzo’s cock, thrilling at the way Ryuzo leaned his forehead against Jin’s shoulder, the way his breathing grew heavier.

Finally, Ryuzo reached down and grabbed Jin’s wrist, stopping him. “What?” Jin said. “Not good?” Ryuzo’s cock had grown slick in his hand, the pre-come at the tip easing the passage of his palm and fingers.

“Too good,” Ryuzo said, laughing under his breath. He looked into Jin’s eyes. “I don’t want to spill in your hand. I want you. Like you had her.”

Jin knew what he was asking for. After a moment’s hesitation, he nodded. “On my back, or on my hands and knees?” Just the words were enough to send another lightning bolt of pleasure through Jin’s body, and he wondered how quickly he’d be able to grow hard again. Going on what he was feeling so far, he didn’t think it would take much.

“Get undressed and lay down on your back,” Ryuzo said, quiet. “I want to look into your face.”

“Will you get undressed too?” Jin asked, almost shyly. “I want to see you.”

Meeting his eyes the whole time, Ryuzo loosened his kimono and hakama, stripping out of them while Jin laid at his feet, watching him bare himself. His cock sprang up hard, bouncing against his belly. Between the hearth and the sake they’d drank, the room was comfortably warm even naked.

Ryuzo grabbed the bottle of clove oil and unstopped it, pouring some over his fingers. The sharp aromatic scent hit Jin’s nose about the same time as he felt Ryuzo’s slick hand close on his cock, sliding up and down, causing his hips to arch up off the futon. He swallowed and closed his eyes.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” Ryuzo said, almost conversationally as he pumped Jin’s cock.

“Yes. You got her to bring that oil on purpose,” Jin said, his voice sounding somewhat strangled as Ryuzo worked him back to full hardness, leaning over to suck at one swarthy nipple to hurry the process along.

“Mm,” Ryuzo said noncommittally around Jin’s nipple, testing it with his teeth until Jin hissed a breath between his teeth and Ryuzo swiped his tongue across it to soothe it. He leaned back, slapping Jin’s belly lightly. “Lift up your knee.”

Jin did as he was told, and felt Ryuzo’s finger at his entrance, rubbing oil in there, testing how tight he was.

“You’ve got to relax,” Ryuzo said. “This shouldn’t hurt much if you do. Don’t worry, I’ll go slow.”

Jin took a deep breath and closed his eyes, doing his best.

Ryuzo was a man of his word. By the time he had worked his way up to three fingers, pumping them methodically in and out of Jin’s body, Jin didn’t think he could handle the slow torture anymore. The sensation was strange at first, but Ryuzo was patient and slow. A few times when fingering him, Ryuzo had managed to crook his fingers up into a spot that caused bright white stars to burn across Jin’s vision and made him cry out Ryuzo’s name.

“Enough,” Jin gasped. “That’s enough. Please.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Ryuzo said.

“You won’t. Please. Just go slow.”

“Lift up your knees.”

Jin did as he was asked and Ryuzo leaned in over him. His long hair loose and falling wild, the opposite of the courtesan’s. Jin gave into temptation and buried his hands in it, dragging Ryuzo’s head down to capture his lips in a kiss.

“You won’t hurt me,” Jin whispered. “I won’t break.”

Jin felt Ryuzo’s cock at his oil-slicked entrance and closed his eyes as Ryuzo leaned down into him, pushing forward and downward with his hips, moving into Jin’s body inch by inch. Jin could hear Ryuzo’s shaky breath, felt it washing over his face in tense puffs as he tried to control himself.

 _I made him feel that way,_ Jin thought, and groaned as he felt Ryuzo bottom out, his hands moving to the back of Ryuzo’s neck, holding on for dear life.

“Are you okay?” Ryuzo said, sounding hoarse with desire, holding himself perfectly still.

“I…yes. Just give me a minute.”

Ryuzo held still, looking down into Jin’s face. He leaned down and kissed the furrow at Jin’s brow softly to smooth it, moving down to nuzzle at his jawline. Jin opened his eyes and saw that a fine sheen of sweat had started to stand out on Ryuzo’s face, and a wild part of him wanted to reach up and lick at it like a wolf. He didn’t dare move, his body throbbing hotly around Ryuzo’s length.

“Okay,” Jin whispered.

Ryuzo began to pull out, just a little, and then rocked back in. At first this increased the intensity of the feeling and Jin cried out with each movement, burying his face against Ryuzo’s uninjured shoulder.

As soon as he was sure that Jin wasn’t crying out from pain, Ryuzo began thrusting more steadily, pulling out farther and going deeper, aiming for that spot that made Jin shudder and moan under him. Jin moved his hands as if he still didn’t know what to do with them, digging his fingertips into Ryuzo’s shoulders, then moving one hand to rest on Ryuzo’s cheek. Ryuzo turned his head to kiss at Jin’s palm, closing his eyes as he moved.

“Ryuzo, Ryuzo…” Jin couldn’t help the name from falling from his lips like a mantra as the other man moved above him, implacable, rocking. “I love you,” he whispered into Ryuzo’s ear as he leaned down and over him again, resting his head against Jin’s shoulder as he tried to shift pressure off his hurt arm without losing his rhythm, and Ryuzo groaned at the words. Jin could feel the slick of sweat on Ryuzo’s forehead mark the skin of his chest over his heart.

Jin thought it might go on forever, that delicious rocking that at first burned a little, too much pressure and sensation, and then burned with a different kind of fire, flames stoked with every push of Ryuzo’s hips above him, driving sparks like embers behind Jin’s eyelids.

“Touch yourself,” Ryuzo said, his voice strained. “I’m close.”

Jin reached down to take hold of himself where he had become hard again and moved his hand in time with Ryuzo’s thrusts. It didn’t take long before he spilled over his own fist, breath hitching as semen splattered the bare skin of his chest, and the feeling of him squeezing down around Ryuzo through his orgasm caused Ryuzo to follow him, snapping his hips hard once, twice, and then he grew still, letting out his breath with a shaky groan as he emptied himself.

They held perfectly still for a moment, and Jin could feel Ryuzo’s heartbeat hammering almost in sync with his own. Then he withdrew and Jin whimpered at the sensation. Ryuzo stood up on visibly shaky legs and walked over to the basin to get a fresh damp rag, washing himself before walking back over to kneel beside Jin, carefully washing him too.

Jin simply laid on the futon as limp as a rag, breath heaving, eyes closed. He opened them as he felt the damp rag brushing across the skin of his belly and chest, looking up to see Ryuzo’s dark eyes peering down at him.

“Are you okay?” Ryuzo asked.

“Yes. Come here.”

Ryuzo sat the rag aside and laid down next to Jin, curling up into his body. He laid his head on Jin’s shoulder and Jin brushed the hair back from his sweaty face while his breathing slowed.

“Did you have fun at least?”

“Yes,” Jin said softly. “Thank you for the woman.” He reached out and took Ryuzo’s hand. “But I don’t want anyone else.”

_I don’t want anyone else but you._

“Fair enough,” Ryuzo said, snuggling closer to him as the lamplight painted their naked bodies. He squeezed Jin’s hand back. “I can live with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wagashi: Japanese candies served with green tea
> 
> shamisen: A stringed instrument used by geisha and courtesans
> 
> ryotei: A series of private screened-in rooms in an ochaya or geisha house meant for serving customers discreetly


End file.
